this post was submitted on 27 Nov 2025
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Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

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[–] echodot@feddit.uk 88 points 1 week ago (2 children)

For anyone who needs a more realistic looking boyfriend I'm also available for half the price but my excuse will be that another core piece of internet infrastructure has crashed.

[–] dangling_cat@piefed.blahaj.zone 28 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Look at username: echodot

core piece of internet

Hmmmmm

[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

How disheveled is your beard? How many pockets do your pants have? What kind of multi tool is on your belt next to your cell phone holster?

[–] ayyy@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Wrong nerd. Ask them about their dotfiles. After they finish their ranted answer just smile and nod while saying “haha, yea my cousin coded godots too, did you work with them?” and then hug them when that makes them cry.

[–] tomiant@piefed.social 55 points 1 week ago (1 children)

And for another $100 will you also be my boyfriend?

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 26 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] AngularViscosity@piefed.social 42 points 1 week ago

Cool, I just need 2 minutes. 😏

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

That price is only if you're in-network.

[–] Wren@lemmy.today 46 points 1 week ago (1 children)

For an extra ten bucks I want him to wear a she/her trans pin and eyeliner. I need a new scandal to distract them from the smoke bomb kerfuffle.

[–] watson@lemmy.world 21 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

If I had one of those pins, I would be sending you a private message right now, lol. I don’t often wear eyeliner, but when I do, I love it when it pisses off bigots ❤️

[–] Wren@lemmy.today 9 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Oh damn are you a real doctor? ARE YOU THE DOCTOR FROM THE MEME? How much ambien are you allowed to perscribe?

[–] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (2 children)

(S)he and the hat man are personal friends.

[–] Wren@lemmy.today 4 points 1 week ago

The hat man is my emergency contact.

[–] axexrx@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

I thought the hat man was benadryl. Its the ambient walrus.

[–] watson@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Lol, I really want everyone here to know that I am not a real doctor

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

That's fine. How much ambien can you prescribe me?

[–] hansolo@lemmy.today 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Can I pay this man $100 to call and tell my Mom that essential oils and industrial bleach in a dropper won't cure anything and she should just embrace her own mortality?

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

If he knows more than Dr. Oz, then why isn't he on Oprah and leading a federal health agency?

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 10 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

He had to go from his shift at the hospital to his night gig as a stripper.

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

For that price you better be in the middle of a procedure removing a large object from someones rectum that they "accidentally fell on".

(If not, I can pay extra, np.)
(And if there is a supply shortage, I can help too, we can split the profits.)

But are you actually from Canada though?

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 2 points 1 week ago

Oh thank heavens! Now I don't have to sell my body.