this post was submitted on 04 Dec 2025
273 points (89.8% liked)

Funny

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[–] Kyrgizion@lemmy.world 59 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Read that as "she's ten". Did a double take.

[–] zout@fedia.io 14 points 2 days ago

It would explain something I guess.

[–] Avicenna@programming.dev 2 points 1 day ago

same here, for a second I asked myself "ok where am I right now?"

[–] devfuuu@lemmy.world -1 points 2 days ago

Porque no los dos

[–] Slovene@feddit.nl 33 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)
[–] Molten_Moron@lemmings.world 2 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago)

Hot ⬆️ 🔴

        ➡️   
          Crazy

Edit: I have no idea how to add whitespace on Lemmy, apparently. But this works too.

[–] Harvey656@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Same thing really.

[–] Sunsofold@lemmings.world 7 points 1 day ago

'A ten' or just 'ten?' Rather worrying.

[–] froh42@lemmy.world 21 points 2 days ago

I would probably cum from laughing.

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 18 points 2 days ago (4 children)
[–] groet@feddit.org 22 points 2 days ago (5 children)

So how exactly are you supposed to move someone from the fun zone?

Hey girl I'm having great fun with you. If you get a facelift we can start dating?

[–] Gonzako@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago

Hot is not only physical. It's also mental, you may find traits on your partner that move them around for you.

[–] l_isqof@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago
[–] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

Usually there's a temperature knob you can adjust.

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 7 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

You want to date someone you find unattractive?

Btw, the whole thing is more tongue-in-cheek.

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Who's tongue in who's cheek being what makes it hot.

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

you break up with them

[–] TheGiantKorean@lemmy.today 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I dated a redheaded preacher's daughter once

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] TheGiantKorean@lemmy.today 8 points 1 day ago

No. Too high on the scale.

[–] village604@adultswim.fan 11 points 1 day ago

He's still alive, so I guess so.

[–] Landless2029@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

This reminds me of an ancient YouTube video drawing nearly the same chart.

Found it

The chart is obviously based on the video, the parenthetical in the danger zone is a dead giveaway.

[–] FluidBeef@quokk.au 2 points 1 day ago

I wonder how many guys who think they can be selective about the “date” and “marry” zones are even a 5 (assuming bell curve distribution).

So she's a 20?

[–] TheGiantKorean@lemmy.today 13 points 2 days ago

10 on the bottom

11 on top

[–] lurch@sh.itjust.works 16 points 2 days ago (3 children)

the ears thing seems weird

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 35 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Yeah, that's the weird thing.

[–] Otakulad@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

Maybe she is an alien.

One day, a space ship landed in a farmer’s field and a Martian man and his wife got out and introduced themselves to the farmer and his wife. As a token of his friendship, the farmer immediately invited the Martian couple in his home and begged them to stay for the evening and have dinner, so the Martians agreed.

Later that night, the Martian man explained how, on their planet, it was customary to swap partners as a token of friendship.

The farmer, not wanting to offend his alien neighbors, readily agreed.The Martian then man took the farmer’s wife into one bedroom while the farmer took the Martian woman into another.

They had been having sex for about an hour when the Martian man asked the farmer’s wife, “Well, how do you like having sex with a Martian? How does it feel?” The farmer’s wife replied “It needs to be a little bigger around.” So the Martian man twisted his right ear and presto, his penis became bigger around.

About an hour later, the Martian man asked the farmer’s wife again “How does it feel now?” The farmer’s wife responded “I think it needs to be a little longer.” So the Martian man twisted his left ear and presto, his penis became longer.

The next morning, after their alien neighbors had left, the farmer and his wife were having coffee at the breakfast table and the farmer asked his wife “How was the Martian man?” To this, the farmer’s wife replied “Fine.” “And how about the Martian woman?”

The farmer replied, “That damn bitch yanked on my fucking ears all night long!”

[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 day ago

Only if you don't play Mario Kart. Sick ref otherwise.

[–] Nomorereddit@lemmy.today 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] Jhex@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] Nomorereddit@lemmy.today 1 points 1 day ago

Fart from pooter. Queef from cooter. Then assume that force will trigger a sneeze like propellant from each orifice. Good luck not coming after that.

Can I get a match check on my working equation?

(Fart + queef )((biologicalfill% * propulsion constant))

[–] wuphysics87@lemmy.ml 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I'm not seeing a problem here

[–] kambusha@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 days ago

No, you'll hear it, and then probably smell it.

[–] FluidBeef@quokk.au 2 points 1 day ago

12 if she says Waluigi.

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Ok, but will she share her Netflix password?

[–] synapse1278@lemmy.world 26 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (3 children)

She will make an account for you on her Jellyfin server

[–] Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

From personal experience, not enough people appreciate this.

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 1 points 1 day ago

... it's nothing but Fake and random episodes of Jojo, isn't it?

That is acceptable.

[–] IronBird@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

sauce for the background image?

[–] Aggravationstation@feddit.uk 2 points 1 day ago

Never had a girl fart on my balls, bet it feels amazing.

[–] TrickDacy@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

farts on my balls

🤮🫠

[–] IronBird@lemmy.world -1 points 1 day ago

probably feels amazing tbh

[–] tkk13909@sopuli.xyz 1 points 1 day ago