this post was submitted on 05 Jan 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

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3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 55 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Yeah... You use shampiss to pass a drug test when you know your realpiss won't.

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 17 points 2 weeks ago

I can't argue with that.

[–] HeyJoe@lemmy.world 33 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Whats with the presentation? Looks like those memes where they shame dogs who did bad things.

[–] Anivia@feddit.org 15 points 2 weeks ago

Whats with the presentation?

Narcissism

[–] smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 weeks ago

So it should read "I excuse myself to the washroom on dates just to check my IG feed".

[–] abfarid@startrek.website 27 points 2 weeks ago
[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 15 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I've said it before, I'll say it again, down with shampoo, demand real poo!

[–] nightofmichelinstars@sopuli.xyz 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Real poo is free, abundant, and just the right consistency if you eat enough cheese.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

enough cheese

does not compute

[–] basxto@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 2 weeks ago

gives a great tan

[–] ThePantser@sh.itjust.works 12 points 2 weeks ago

Shampoo or Realpoo

[–] OwlVurdy@lemmy.wtf 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Shampiss is what you wash your hair with when you get to the bottom of the bottle and have to mix a little water with it to get it out.

beat me to it.

[–] 5C5C5C@programming.dev 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Champagne implies the existence of Champleasure

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

Some people find pleasure in pagne. Lots of guys out there wanting go get spanked by angry women.

[–] dumbass@piefed.social 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Yeah, its called American beer.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Shots fired!

[–] smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 weeks ago

They both exist, and are used when you need to get away from a date, check your phone, or otherwise get some alone time sitting down.

[–] null@piefed.nullspace.lol 5 points 2 weeks ago

ShamWow implies the existence of LegitMeh

[–] CaptainBasculin@lemmy.bascul.in 5 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I'm more of a shamshit guy

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

He called shamshit shampoo.

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[–] UncleGrandPa@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] JimVanDeventer@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

That’s just a theory. A GAME THEORY!

[–] remon@ani.social 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

No it doesn't. Plenty of animals only poo, including most insects and birds.

[–] Speiser0@feddit.org 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

And given the wetness of shampoo, it's unlikely that there's a separate shampiss.

[–] remon@ani.social 1 points 2 weeks ago

Uhm ... I guess so?

[–] RestrictedAccount@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

Old guy story time

I knew this guy in college who always forgot his shampoo in the shower (dorm with shared bathrooms).

It would enrage him that people would use up his shampoo.

So he filled the bottle with piss and left it for communal use.

[–] PrinceOfSloth@lemmy.zip 4 points 2 weeks ago

This looks like female Rainbolt

[–] SheepHerder@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Wigglesworth@retrolemmy.com 2 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Would you click if she was?

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[–] brown567@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 weeks ago
[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Don't say that too loud, you'll get trumps attention

[–] KingGimpicus@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 weeks ago

It does.

Due to an unfortunate trait of the French (their language) it's better known as champagne.

Fr all wine and grape derived liquor is yucky and gross. Find better drinks, like rum.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 weeks ago

... Shampiss...

...

...

... pre-cum?

[–] Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] basxto@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 2 weeks ago

synthetic natural champagne (German calls piss play natural champagne)

[–] kaklerbitmap@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I use Chambraigne! It's got Knowledge Crystals!

https://youtu.be/pbY3JOjQal4

[–] Siegfried@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Shampoo also means the existamce of proudpoo

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You mean real poo? Pretty sure that's already a thing.

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[–] Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Techlos@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 weeks ago

It's the good shit

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
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How does Shamwow fit...

[–] mechoman444@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

I've been wanting my wife to shampiss on me for years...

[–] diabetic_porcupine@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

It’s pronounced sham PAGGin

[–] anon_8675309@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

That’s deep.

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

shampoo also implies the (much more likely imho) existence of shamshart


"Platonic solids for my real friends and real solids for my platonic friends!" -- xkcd 1645 - Toasts


-- Someone's dream (r/thomastheplankengine, reddit frontend)

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