this post was submitted on 14 Jan 2026
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[–] StrawberryPigtails@lemmy.sdf.org 151 points 6 days ago (4 children)

I would think they first would have to actually release the feature.

[–] Peruvian_Skies@sh.itjust.works 53 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

And I would think that before releasing the feature they'd have to get it to stop constantly crashibg cars into large stationary objects.

It's probably vibe-coded.

[–] UnspecificGravity@piefed.social 18 points 6 days ago (1 children)

You misunderstand. The subscription is to get permission to drive your own car. Self driving slop is going to be the default.

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[–] hummingbird@lemmy.world 45 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Apparently we live in a reality in which you don't need to have a product in order make it shit anymore.

[–] SkybreakerEngineer@lemmy.world 8 points 6 days ago (3 children)
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[–] amateurcrastinator@lemmy.world 15 points 6 days ago

You need to sign up for a 3 year subscription to be put on the waiting list for the product that will be ready in 5 years after you subscribed. If you don't renew after the first 3 years you lose your spot and need to reapply.

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[–] Jayve@lemmy.world 33 points 5 days ago

If you buy a Tesla you deserve a Tesla.

[–] Dogiedog64@lemmy.world 87 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Anyone who still thinks he's a genius should be mocked mercilessly.

[–] TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 points 6 days ago

To be fair, he's a genius in continuesly scamming people without losing their faith in him. Although it's less geniusness and more stupidity of other people. Yeah he's not a genius, he's a scammer. Not even an artist at it.

[–] MuskyMelon@lemmy.world 14 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Another Musk business model that'll die... But not before he grifts stupid shareholders...

[–] FreddiesLantern@leminal.space 4 points 5 days ago

Well you know, you gotta phase these things out before sweeping them under the rug.

If you cut it off cold turkey everyone will be like “I did Natzi that one coming”.

[–] deHaga@feddit.uk 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I do like shorting Tesla, it's expensive, but it just feels good

[–] LordFireCrotch@lemmy.today 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

You short Tesla stock? Have you ever timed it and made a profit on it? I know there's been pockets that it could have been profitable to you. But seems to me that you'd just be feeding money to actual shareholders.

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[–] buddascrayon@lemmy.world 15 points 5 days ago (1 children)

On Tesla’s third-quarter earnings call in October, CFO Vaibhav Taneja said that “the total paid FSD customer base is still small, around 12% of our current fleet.”

Gonna be lower soon. LoL 😂

How is this fool a billionaire? Oh, yeah. Peter Thiel using him as a distraction.

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[–] THE_GR8_MIKE@lemmy.world 40 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Surprised it didn't happen sooner.

And on that note, I would absolutely download a car.

[–] kn33@lemmy.world 27 points 6 days ago

Well, I wouldn't download this car.

[–] garretble@lemmy.world 16 points 5 days ago

I feel so dumb over here having paid off my current car and giving no subscription money to anyone to use all the features of my car. I'm a fool!

[–] TranscendentalEmpire@lemmy.today 34 points 6 days ago (3 children)

Kinda a crazy move considering that they were charging 8k for "fsd" before, and are moving to a monthly subscription of a hundred bucks a month.

You would have to own your Tesla for six and a half years for them to make the same return. My guess is that the hundred dollars a month is just the initial price which will drastically inflate over time. That or they are just going to raise prices by 8k and still charge you a subscription cost anyways....

[–] the_tab_key@lemmy.world 25 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Or you get more people buying in. 8k up front looks a lot different than a couple hundred a month.

[–] THE_GR8_MIKE@lemmy.world 12 points 6 days ago (7 children)

I'd rather just pay it once and have it.

Like video games. Just let me pay money for the whole game.

[–] trougnouf@lemmy.world 10 points 6 days ago

Rational people don't buy Teslas.

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[–] baggachipz@sh.itjust.works 12 points 6 days ago (3 children)

At one point they were charging $15k for it, and Elmo was claiming it would go to $100k in its final form. You know, when it actually fucking worked. Which it never will.

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[–] Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works 11 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Nah, I suspect nobody was buying the feature. They may increase the price if they get it to truly work, but I suspect a hundred odd a month is what most people are willing to pay.

[–] hitmyspot@aussie.zone 10 points 6 days ago

Yes, I suspect this is a chas flow thing. Their sales are dropping. The feature is there, sonit costs nothing to give it. See if they can milk a few dollars. Even if it makes less money on the long term, it might stop the share price crashing in the medium or short term.

[–] ScoffingLizard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 6 days ago

You have got to be a goddamn moron to buy a Tesla.

[–] devolution@lemmy.world 22 points 6 days ago (1 children)

$99 dollars a month to kill yourself. Shit, I can commit suicide for free.

[–] DarkFuture@lemmy.world 11 points 5 days ago

No thanks, Nazi.

[–] Kyrex@lemmy.frozeninferno.xyz 9 points 5 days ago

Oh jeez, enshittification is so fast with today's companies...

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 18 points 6 days ago

Then first create the full self driving that you have lied about already existing for the past decade

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 9 points 5 days ago

Fools and their money are soon parted - over and over again if they're Tesla fanboys.

[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 17 points 6 days ago

🤣🤣🤣

[–] Gathorall@lemmy.world 12 points 6 days ago

Can you opt to pay imaginary money for it since it is an imaginary feature?

[–] FreddiesLantern@leminal.space 7 points 5 days ago

“Oh think I’ll treat myself to a month of gamble driving”

[–] tonywu@lemmy.world 17 points 6 days ago

Tesla: subscribe to your own demise.

[–] WanderWisley@lemmy.world 11 points 6 days ago (2 children)

So if your subscription runs out while driving does the Tesla just stop on the road or does it immediately drive back to the dealership till you pay it?

[–] LordFireCrotch@lemmy.today 4 points 5 days ago

It's only for the "Full Self driving" feature. It would likely just disable the feature.

[–] hateisreality@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] titanicx@lemmy.zip 11 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Wasn't it already? Fucking Tesla is so damn confusing on how the hell this shit works. Every 2 months it changes, price changes, how the use it changes, and if they even get it. God I'm so glad I wouldn't ever buy one of those shit boxes.

[–] ScoffingLizard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I was in my friend's Tesla the other day, and she couldn't figure out which button to push to get the glove box open. There is no handle. Just a screen with a GUI that has menus with a glove box button.

I was like wtf. I'm so pissed about my old car with too many buttons for the air conditioner. That was the most infuriating looking car I've ever seen. Guess she got it before the Nazi salute for tax write off.

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[–] lechekaflan@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago

Leave the World Behind is a documentary.

image

[–] SinningStromgald@lemmy.world 13 points 6 days ago

Didn't need another reason not to buy a Tesla but I've got one.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 7 points 5 days ago

Good maybe people will stop using it then. What am I saying they bought a Tesla of course they're going to keep using it.

[–] Jarix@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago

Scumfuck needs to hit his trillion dollar payout somehow

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