Cokes explode
"Why did you blow up my Cokes?"
this post was submitted on 20 Jan 2026
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The radical left is once again exploding your cokes. Folks this the future they want, for you, for your kids, for your diet cokes and I'm the only one trying to stop it but that is not enough for Finland, they said no, no nobel prize medal for you.
Antifa has blatantly and ILLEGALLY utilized hydrogen molecules in a crystalline structure, we're looking at it very closely.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER.
"The USA needs Greenland. We need it so I can store all my Cokes there. Finland doesn't need to store their Cokes there. I need to store my Cokes in Greenland."
Under Biden much more cokes would have exploded. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
Trump Voter: "He's done it again!"
Diabetes is cured!
"Sir. They said, Sir, you can't cure diabetes. It can't be done. I said, "Did you try drinking bleach? They said, "Sir. No one has ever asked that question." It's my connections to MIT, they said. My nuclear uncle, they said. Very intelligent, very big brain."
My nuclear uncle, they said, very good, and the thing is once you say you’re, a, you know, and they never, but I was, and I was the first to do it, uncle, nucular uncle
They never say this, because the radical left democrats, they never say this. I talked to the gentleman. My uncle, I said, MIT graduate. It's in my blood. He invented waterproof magnets. Joe Biden couldn't do that. Joe Biden didn't ask about sharks and electric boats. They will never tell you that.
Also congrats I’ve screenshotted your very clever and satirical comment and now I’m going to send it to select friends with no context 🙏 have a good night
*cokes don't explode for 6 hours
"See? They say it couldn't be done, but I did it and we've got colder Cokes than ever before!"
*Cokes explode 2 hours later
"The corrupt Biden policies have allowed radical antifa terrorists to destroy my cokes. The freezer should have never been that cold."
“We’re bringing 🚶coke 🥤back to freezers 🥶everywhere 👐. People say it’s a disgrace 👎that these wonderfully tremendous freezers 🤲 Are being stopped from doing their jobs 👷♂️. It’s all a democratic hoax 🚫 if you ask me, which you 🫵won’t because you’re fake news 📰but quite frankly I don’t like windmills. Anyway tylenol wouldn’t explode in a coke if you put it in a freezer on time because it’s AN authentic authistic brand, I never met Epstein OR Bill Clinton, never. Just clean up the coal with uv radiation and isopropadol. Let’s make freezers great again.”
Downvoted for not bringing up Sleepy Joe
They say Sleepy Joe brought Pepsi! Who brings Pepsi???
I worked at a place with a test freezer (-40°) once. As a joke, I put someone's bottle of Coke in there. And forgot about it.
The Coke exploded, but it was so cold it instantly turned into a caramel-colored rock. Just pulled out out and threw it away.
You didn’t lick it?
I'd have licked it
I definitely would have licked it.
It wasn't my coke.
All the more reason to lick it 👅
Mexico will clean it up, you’ll see. It was Mexican coke, after all, they should have to clean it up.
Rename it to Coca-Cola of America already!
Chuck Schumer wrote a strongly worded letter against this
I hate how clearly I can hear it.
Unfortunately it’s all about the wording with these grown toddlers. Saying things like “you can’t” or “don’t do …” only makes them want to prove you wrong; they live for spite because they are such hateful little monsters.
"Sir, you can't release the Epstein files, because no one's been able to do it. No one will believe you can do it. You can't do it."
Instead you must phrase it as "only a loser would ever ______" or "the democrats really want you to ______"
This was mere months after the coup attempt.