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I am a 15-year-old girl. Let me show you the vile misogyny that confronts me on social media every day
(www.theguardian.com)
this post was submitted on 23 Feb 2026
340 points (90.7% liked)
Technology
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Interesting article and I think it really highlights how toxic some parts of the Internet are. My only issue is the conclusion,
A social media ban for under-16s might prevent young boys seeing endless content that treats women with contempt and hate. Boys at this age are very susceptible to the cool and funny framing of what is, in reality, relentless misogyny. A ban might not fix the problem, but it would help. If society can’t stop it, it can show it disapproves.
Emphasis mine. Having grown up in a different era I can confirm that boys of a wide variety of ages, including much older "boys", can also be scumbags. Even if we had the perfect technology to ban under-16s from social media, once they hit 16 they'd still be exposed to it, still become terrible people, and the author of this article, although a but older, would still see it. I don't know if that really is a better world, just a slightly delayed one.
I don't know the solution, but I remember reading once that some online game would put all the reported and abusive players into a special category where they would be forced to play only with each other. Maybe we can do that in this case.
I kind of feel like social media already does put toxic people together and that has lead them to compete on how toxic they can be. I don't think forcing gross people into communities with a bunch of people who think the same way helps at all. Being seperated from that and seeing more perspectives seems better.
You're right that putting people in bubbles is probably one way some of these things get worse. If all you see is toxic, toxic is the norm, now you're always toxic.
Maybe they can tricked.
Although really what we're talking about is the algorithm that currently exists being focused on highlighting terrible people doing terrible things. Can we turn that same algorithm around and use it for good?
Personally I think we should get rid of the algorithms all together and go back to timeline with only people you follow, but I also just looked outside and there are no flying pigs.
I am not sure if the algorithm is particularly evil or just uncaring and optimizing for engagement. An algorithm that specifically tried to keep you out of bubbles would be interesting, but there is the question if people would enjoy using it enough for it to do any good or for companies to want to use it without being forced to.
I try to do my best to stay away from algorithms lately. I think being more intentional about it helps me, but perhaps that doesn't work for some people. I think we need to figure something out though because the effects are obviously pretty bad.
An algorithm that actively attempts to keep me out of bubbles sounds like an algorithm that ensures I keep seeing bigoted opinions about people like me. I do think that there can be decent uses of algorithms, but I don't think that corporate social media is going to provide it.
I also think we have a serious problem of a lot of people want the algorithm. It's extremely habit forming and mindless. Hell I much preferred it back in the early days to having to find new websites and all that. It just came with a massive price I wouldn't've paid had I known.
I have a small tight group of guys and gals I occasionally play online games with and I seldom play games where I'm matched up with strangers. It's not worth it.
As soon as they hear you are a chick... Most usually start with the low hanging fruit "You fat and ugly"
Although one time some guy kept saying I was probably old. Like 40. With 2 kids. I thought that was slightly more creative. But still basic.
I am 40 actually. But I don't have kids and told him No crotch goblins for me. They might end up like him.
Then told him I could tell he was nervous cause his voice was shakey. Asked him if this was his first time talking to a female.
Then I blocked him and left the game so he couldnt do any come back.
It's really sad how prevalent it is.
I think it depends a lot on the games, communities, and moderation, though.
In my games, at least, I wouldn't say I see much toxicity, even when it can feel different because of its impact. When I do see toxicity, I consistently report and block.
In all my years, I think I can count misogyny in my games (towards others I overhear) on one hand. Which, of course, doesn't invalidate those who have different experiences. Many women choose not to talk at all because of these issues, which makes it less likely for other people to experience and see such occurrences.
I find more recent developments interesting where people can change their voice to male and female, which allows people to talk with their voice, but not be identifiable as one or the other. Hopefully it can enable people and make them more comfortable.
Ive also encountered misogynist comments directed at male friends who play games with me.
On a few occasions I've had my best guy pal I play with be bombarded with comments about how he's a simp if he helps me in any way in the game.
I told this guy friend I was mad for him. He said he just ignores it but. It's pretty shitty.
Being cooperative doesn't make him a simp. We like playing games together cause we have a fun dynamic. I kinda hated that other men were trying to make him feel bad about it.
Mysoginist men really try to enforce other men to bend to their rules just as much as they harass women.
the politicians debating online abuse mean well
Let me stop you there
I'd give her a pass for being 15
That's fair. She'll get it.
The politicians debating online abuse claim to mean well.
the politicians debating online abuse mean well
Hard disagree.
NEVER use social media that requires your personal information. Try not to use it at all.
This is a voluntary social disease. It’s not necessary.
My teachers taught me to never ever give my personal data away to strangers for my own safety. Now politicians want to force everyone to do just that. For safety reasons…
You cannot ask a 15 year old for that. They are subject to peer pressure. The only way is to forbid or restrict the access to Social Media to minors. The real question is: who must do it?
Forbid this, forbid that... How about actual fucking parenting instead? As a "zoomer" who used to use antisocial media back when I was 15 but didn't end up encountering all this objectification crap 'til much later on in life despite being having better computer skills than my parents, let me testify that having hobbies helps. And most of my hobbies developed with considerable help from my parents whom I was able to ask for help/advice.
You cannot compare with someone in their 15 today: average time spent with families is decreasing, and the average time that teenagers spend in touch with their peers (not necessarily in person, but also via IM) is increasing, and therefore also the peer pressure. Also, what about those kids with absent parents? What about those kids with toxic or incompetent parents?
Sure, I agree with anyone who says that kids should be guided and assisted on social media in the right environments, or in a way to find the right spaces to express themselves (with hobbies, sports, group activities, whatever), and I'll vote for anyone who could do anything on that purpose. But we can also imagine flying cars at this point.
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That sounds awful why would you keep using a platform like that?
Presumably because all of her friends do, and if she quits using it, then she'll be left out of her friends' group chats on IG and be out of the loop on jokes and memes between her friends. Might seem unimportant to an adult, but devastating for a teenager.
Your comment is similar to saying "cyberbullying isn't real, just turn off the PC". Because getting pushed out of social spaces on the internet leaves kids feeling isolated, and deprives them of access to shared spaces that their friends use to connect with each other.
One might say "They can just connect in person!" Presumably they do, but the internet is an inescapable part of modern life and that is unlikely to change. We should push for a better internet, rather than telling people to simply stop using it if they're suffering.
How about using just the chat feature or maybe watching her friends stories and posts, instead of doom scrolling reels from strangers? It's not hard myself. But perhaps it's harder if you spend your entire day on your phone hopping between various doom scroll brainrot apps.
I used to be bullied hard in elementary for being neurodivergent and "living under a rock", and I did not know what was cool or uncool because I didn't have WiFi at home. To illustrate how ridiculous it was, I got bullied for playing Minecraft to the point that if I left my redstone blueprints on my table they would crumple it, and whenever I ate vegetables they would say, "ew vegetables!!!".
That sounds terrible. I'm sorry you were treated so badly.
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I feel bad for my indian nieces, they get the worst of all worlds on the internet, think they stick to roblox tho no social media for them
roblox tho no social media for them
Oh boy.. in sorry to be the one to point this out. Roblox is a problem.
https://www.theguardian.com/games/2026/feb/20/los-angeles-sues-roblox-la-county
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“Bop” stands for “been over passed”
No, it's not. It means "a good song".
Nothing on UrbanDictionary, nothing on even Google. What is this nonsense?
Sexual equality has ceased to exist online.
It never existed in the first place, so there's that.
Anyway, yeah, internet bad. Time to ban all sub-16 children from Social Media. It's been long overdue.
This young woman is an exceptional writer. Not many her age can achieve such coherency and well laid structure in longer essays.
I hope she will continue using her skills and keep fighting against this new rise of misogyny.
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