Sarah Beattie was a really fun part of Weird Twitter back in the day.
this post was submitted on 26 Feb 2026
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It doesn't have to be that you love them in your mouth, just saying.
I hear this a lot from young women, "there's just no pleasing my mother". I cannot offer words of wisdom or comfort, but I can promise you this. I will try my hardest to please your mom, as I always do. 👍
Just need to apply some cunning linguistics.
What's interesting, "-lingus" in cunnilingus and "lingua" are actually connected. "Lingua" used to be "dingua" but then mixed with the verb "lingo" (I lick) because, well, tongues do lick.
Also both dingua and lingo are cognates to English toungue and lick.
Anyway sorry for being boring!
I was an awkward youth and accidentally said something like this to my friends mother. I kept trying to correct myself and the phrasing just kept getting worse.
by the end of it she was deep crimson and my friend was begging me to stop.
she always treated me....differently after that.
Hi Mrs. Smith, I'm pleased to your meet-
Err, I meant, your pleased to my meet-
Err, meeting your pleasure-
Look, Mrs. Smith, I just came over to deliver the sausage pizzas my whole family wants to give you.
If you get down there and really work that clam anyone can please their mother.
Don't sleep on nipple play.
I'll suck on them things like I was a starving baby again.
I will try my hardest to please your mom, as I always do. 👍
this is like that time I told my brother in law "Don't worry, I'm not doing anything to your sister your dad wouldn't approve of".
This is when we were trying for a baby
I am convinced that violet8 is the single most horny poster on Lemmy now... which is fine... because I am entertained by your posts.
Is Violet8 the evolution of Mickey7 ?
Most likely since Mickey7 pivoted. Someone had to fill the niche
She's like intellectually horny because she posts funny things that make us think & laugh, while refraining from posting her naked horny body everywhere. This is highly commendable horny behavior.
Nah, she just has an NSFW humor type of sense of entertainment.
I humor everything, matter of survival of course. I don't want to be a bad thing.
Sarah, a big fat cock strapped to a girl still makes you a lesbian. It's okay!
A big fat cock that the girl was born with is still lesbian.
Speaking as a trans woman, a big fat cock on a trans woman is a rare sight. Estrogen done us dirty like that 😭
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Sometimes being 100% honest is the most chaotic thing you can do. The contrast between her question and that answer is pure comedy gold.
i love big fat cocks in my mouth and am still a lesbian lmao
RIP your inbox
I'm getting old reddit vibes, back before it turned to shit
nah, old reddit would be like
send photos
we need proves
there's no women on the internet
i bet you're a 300lbs neckbeard actually
you're not a lesbian if you love cocks!!111
we definetely progressed as a society since then
having known a lot of sex workers and lesbians we need, societally, to engage with that some people enjoy giving blowjobs and that this doesn't invalidate their sexual preference to be with women
How YOU doin?
Maybe she's mad at you for girldick erasure
That's cause mom is a lesbian.
Can't please everyone
Not with that attitude you can’t
Plot twist: She meant male chickens
Now there are at least THREE definitions of BBC.
In the immortal words of Super Hans:
Would you like a parrot?
Ah that's right, you'd probably like a Cockatoo
That's not even correct...
Oi Mrs C, answer me this - Have you ever had a parrot?
Err... No
It's just you look like you'd enjoy a cockatoo
Yeah. But I was in charge of the quotes, Tom. I drew a line, you crossed that line.
I'm going to have to have a think about you. I don't think you can be trusted in a combat situation.
I am bi so the lgbt is no biggie to me but to my parents it is. I have not told them yet
Essentially if you're bi and find a partner of another gender, you don't even have to do the explaining
Did you had a pause between "way" and "I"? I presume not since there is no comma "no way, I like"
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