this post was submitted on 20 Mar 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Either the world is ending or Chuck Norris tried to self harm. There's no other explanation.

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[–] YoFrodo@lemmy.world 240 points 4 days ago (6 children)

Chuck Norris is a POS. Hes a massive outspoken bigot. The chuck norris jokes are lame now because he has become the joke. What a fucking loser.

[–] rosco385@lemmy.wtf 36 points 4 days ago (4 children)

My brother in Christ, we're in the shitpost sub.

[–] YoFrodo@lemmy.world 120 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Its still a post glazing a bigot

[–] Salamanderwizard@lemmy.world 62 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Yea I'm with ya on this. Fuck Chuck, he's a cunt.

[–] MojoMcJojo@lemmy.world 10 points 4 days ago (1 children)
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[–] Hegar@fedia.io 45 points 4 days ago

Pointing out what a shitbag someone is seems entirely appropriate for the comments of a shitposting community though.

[–] athatet@lemmy.zip 22 points 4 days ago

And you certainly did post shit. GG I suppose.

[–] subignition@fedia.io 10 points 4 days ago

What exactly do you take that to mean?

[–] teslekova@sh.itjust.works 18 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Under Chuck Morris's racism is another fist! And it's up Trump's ass!

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[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 19 points 4 days ago

I upvoted all of these comments.

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 11 points 4 days ago

his whole persona is a being a " conservative Texan" cant get anymore obvious than that

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[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 days ago

This aged well

[–] Rubanski@discuss.tchncs.de 53 points 4 days ago (2 children)

+++BREAKING NEWS+++ he dead now

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 9 points 4 days ago (1 children)

US Healthcare FTW!! U-S-A! U-S-A!

[–] Oodlenoodlenoo@lemmy.zip 27 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Damn the only thing that could kill Chuck Norris was US healthcare all along

Lucky he didn’t have this European commie healthcare or he’d have been dead a lot deader.  

[–] VerilyFemme@lemmy.blahaj.zone 43 points 4 days ago

Looks like the medical emergency had a Chuck Norris in the end.

[–] SirBucksworth@lemmy.world 32 points 4 days ago (1 children)

You mean the hospital has been rushed to Chuck Norris

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[–] db2@lemmy.world 38 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (6 children)

Earlier Chuck I would be more concerned. Like Meatloaf it will be more of a relief that he can't fuck up any longer.

Next that piece of shit Clapton though. Music thief, xenophobic racist, there's nothing to like there, just die Eric.

Edit: Chuck's dead, March 20

[–] DrFunkenstein@sh.itjust.works 8 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Wait drop the tea about Clapton killing a child

[–] db2@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago (4 children)

His son, fell out the window, like 56 floors.

I'm going to take that part back though, I had been told he was high and neglect caused it which doesn't seem to be true. His son ran toward a floor to ceiling window that didn't have a window in it.

[–] jim_v@lemmy.world 12 points 4 days ago

Do you know the difference between a bag of coke and a small child?

˙ʍopuᴉʍ ǝɥʇ ɟo ʇno ʎlɟ ǝʞoɔ ɟo ƃɐq ɐ ʇǝl ǝʌɐɥ ʇ,uplnoʍ uoʇdɐlƆ

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[–] Evotech@lemmy.world 15 points 4 days ago

He looked great for 86

[–] LaserTurboShark69@sh.itjust.works 31 points 4 days ago (3 children)

Yeah right, the only way he's going down is if Gandalf the Grey and Gandalf the White and Monty Python and the Holy Grail's Black Knight and Benito Mussolini and the Blue Meanie and Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie, RoboCop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, Darth Vader, Lo Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger, Bill S Preston, Theodor Logan, Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan all came out of nowhere lightning fast and kicked Chuck Norris and his cowboy ass.

[–] benderbeerman@lemmy.world 19 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Man, that would be the bloodiest battle the world ever seen

[–] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 9 points 4 days ago (1 children)

That fight would rage on for a century and claim many lives

[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 6 points 3 days ago (2 children)

But eventually the champion would stand, the rest would see their better: Mister Rogers

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[–] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 14 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (6 children)

Gods, I can't wait for Chuck Norris to die just so the stupid 'jokes' will too. They were never funny, and Norris is a piece of shit

[–] BlameTheAntifa@lemmy.world 17 points 4 days ago (2 children)
[–] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago

Lol, not even sorry.

Rot in piss chuckles.

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[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 17 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

Surely the jokes died like 15 years ago?

Anyway, he's a piece of shit

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[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 12 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Quick quick mention Donald Trump

[–] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Honestly, yeah Trump another one I'd love to see die, because it won't be long before the outhouse opens and he gets the respect he deserves.

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Well, he did

[–] DeadDigger@lemmy.zip 7 points 4 days ago

Chuck Norris will never die, nazis seem to respawn

[–] AA5B@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago (7 children)

Chuck Norris won’t have died, he’ll have found another realm to dominate

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[–] hellfire103@lemmy.ca 25 points 4 days ago

Chuck Norris doesn't suffer medical emergencies: medical emergencies suffer Chuck Norris.

[–] gravitas@pie.gravitywell.xyz 22 points 4 days ago

Is the hospital okay? 

[–] 6stringringer@lemmy.zip 6 points 3 days ago

Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.

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