Usually by doing all of those things even more, as far as I can tell. Bonus points if you posted yourself on LinkedIn wearing a “this is what a feminist looks like” t-shirt.
this post was submitted on 17 Apr 2026
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Maybe I'm ignorant, but love bombing sounds pretty nice.
Love-bombing a love-bomber can get epic, but then there's the fallout when the one drops the act and is terrified by the possibilities that: you weren't acting, you were just matching their energy and can meet them down in the trenches before they can actually drag you down, and/or you knew what they were up to and refuse to be made to have a problem with it(see "weren't acting").
Now you're stuck with a bait-and-switcher who cannot grasp that you might not be pulling the same trick they just failed to land.
If this sounds like a lot of drama and a massive pain, it is, and that's why its not recommended over disengaging once you've realized what's happening.
Sometimes I wish I could take psychopathy for a test drive, just to see what it's like to be emotionally invulnerable for a day. This is the kind of thing I'd want to do.
Psychopathy? Autism? BPD?
I stay medicated and too busy doing right by my family to dwell on it, but I have enough emotional depth that I sometimes wonder if I didn't just decide to try to think and act like an unhinged psychopath one day(WAY before I met my wife...) in the hopes of avoiding abuse & despair. I'll tell you this much: Whatever the case, that last part definitely didn't work-out.
I know enough about psychopathy specifically to know it would be interesting to try for a few hours, but longer than that it might ruin my life. My sense of empathy often gives me grief, but it serves a purpose.
Same. Some days, my sense of "this is not right, people should not do this, I should not do this" is preventing me from doing really stupid things.
Besides, what if you did something ethically bad and get away with it, and then the empathy comes back? Wouldn't you just hate yourself that you scammed an old lady of her retirement money and destroyed some poor kid's future for minor personal gain on the way home?
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Psychology can be the worst coercion tactic since you can hardly criticise it.
Like seriously, how do you even respond to "You need to love yourself!" when it's used as an attack. When you highlight that it's controlling behaviour to psychologise, you can always receive the response that your critical remark, phrased as deflection, is a sign of distrust in psychology or distrust in general and that that is a sign that your pathology runs even deeper, which makes the original attack even more correct.
Leave psychology to those who have actually read the books and the modicum of social skills needed to empathise.
If you don't hear it often? Sans gaslighting, "maybe you need it then".
Always rethink your position and switch PoV for the other side for a bit mentally. But if you get back to where you are, feel free to feel attacked lol. Mostly due to phrasing. This is accusation, and accusations aren't thrown out of good will.
With gaslighting, just wave your hand, say whatever and change topic. Either you got too emotional and focused on needing to win, or the other person is willing to throw anything at you because they feel attacked and already full on with defence. No moving there either way. Just drop it and move on.
You are a big girl, use proper words.