this post was submitted on 21 Apr 2026
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top 32 comments
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Imagine dragging that Leviathan around

Which means it could wrap around the equator of the earth around 1.36 times. The needlest of needle dicks, just a coiled up string in your pants.

[–] zxqwas@lemmy.world 75 points 3 days ago (1 children)

That would make long distance relationships easier.

[–] betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 39 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I'm sorry if somebody's dick crosses my lawn, I'm just gonna get out the weed whacker and get rid of it.

That's fair. I respect that.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Pretty sure that just creates a new dick.

[–] Master@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

itlc creates two new dicks!

[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Highly invasive species, these JΓΆrmungandr penises.

[–] betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 55 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Assuming the pre-surgery length was something normal (making it a rounding error from this point on) and the average 3.5" long flaccid penis takes 130 mL of blood to achieve a 5.17" erection (4.59" in circumference), those extra ~2.1 billion inches would require 5.4 million-ish liters of blood to fill. If those are 2.1 billion flaccid inches, call it about 8 million liters.

Average total blood volume for an adult human is 4.5 to 5.6 liters so we're going to need more. An Olympic swimming pool is 50x25 meters with a minimum depth of 2 meters. That's 2.5 million liters. It'll take two of those full of blood and a little extra to get things up and running.

Somewhere in that ballpark anyway, I think. Don't rely on this for medical purposes. Average dick-mensions and pool specifications from Wikipedia, blood fill numbers from a Healthline article.

[–] ghen@sh.itjust.works 12 points 2 days ago (1 children)

5.17 is the new average? I remember decades ago it was 6. It's been slightly lowered every couple years. Science is making me feel better one update at a time

A lot of studies regarding penis length are self-reported. So basically subtract an inch from the results and you get a more accurate picture.

It's also why countries that censor genitals in porn report smaller penises than countries where the race of the local population is heavily fetishized wrt. supposed "big dicks". When actually measuring, all those differences become smaller than is statistically relevant.

[–] AccoSpoot1@lemmy.world 17 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 2 days ago

Nah, you build up to that over several years.

[–] inari@piefed.zip 35 points 3 days ago

Huge if true

[–] neukenindekeuken@sh.itjust.works 37 points 3 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Int underflow, but with a signed int32

[–] Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] kkj@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 2 days ago (1 children)

-2,147,483,649, actually. A signed int32 can represent -1 just fine.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] kkj@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Unsigned jumps from 0 to 4,294,967,295. An overflow won't get you to 2,147,483,647 unless you have a 31-bit uint for some reason.

[–] sukhmel@programming.dev 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Having integers with amount of bits indivisible by 2, let alone 8, is a nice feature to have in a language, I deed

[–] Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 days ago

int a:7;

IIRC (C/C++). But doesn't overflow as you'd expect.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 8 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Every time he gets an erection, NASA tries to use it to lift supplies to the ISS.

Man I thought I had it rough when my hotdog lands in the toilet water

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Inches makes it seem more impressive than it is--that's like only around 30 miles or so.

[–] billwashere@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] sundray@lemmus.org 1 points 2 days ago

53.34Mm for the correct standard using amongst y'all.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

You get used to it. Hang in there, I promise it gets better/easier.

I recently got addicted to this game, its so fun

[–] Uri@infosec.pub 2 points 3 days ago
[–] wuffah@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

If your penis was that long, it would be large enough to fill the entire physical universe. It would be so massive, that it would immediately collapse into a penile singularity, creating a new penis-verse (the cosmological phenomenon, not the gay bar by my house). I know this because I am a penis physicist, also known as a peenysicist. And if you believe me, that’s your own fault.