I didn't realize how institutionalized I was until I had a fire on my stove and I yelled out "Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire in the kitchen!"
I was alone in the house at the time.
this post was submitted on 27 Apr 2026
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Generally ovens, toaster ovens, and to a lesser extent top-loading toasters are pretty good at containing fires since holding in heat is their primary job. Your best bet is killing the source of the heat and letting the fire burn out.
Source: I have lit many things on fire in ovens.
Stove-top fires are another beast, but there too as long as you're not throwing water onto flaming oil, you should be pretty safe killing the heat and trying to smother the fire with a lid.
I know this probably doesn't help you now... But maybe the next person who reads this will be a little bit more prepared.
That seems to be the one advantage of ADD. Shit goes to hell, and everyone else literally just watches and panics, as I [do the thing] to fix it.
I do sometimes wonder about that and ADD. I feel like my brain handles those immediate couple moments with a lot of clarity on how to react. I once knocked a can of pop off the edge of my desk and right onto my computer (with a mesh top), and I was already standing up to unplug the computer and flip it upside down to prevent dripping inside before the can even hit, just like an immediate processing and understanding of what the next step needs to be. Feels like those are the moments I can lock in and actually get things done. Suppose that’s why I have to create a crisis to actually be productive, like leaving work till the last moment. Boy is it a rush the like 5% of the time it’s helpful!
Yeah people see that shit has gone to shit for me, but they just watch because they know I have more experience with everything going to shit than any of them do.
Literally just told a coworker today that the only reason I'm good at fixing things is because I'm even better at fucking things up in the first place
Holy shit wait is this a thing?
I have a phobia of dogs. I got attacked by two herding dogs yesterday and I held my ground in a way that I never knew I could do. I thought I'd piss my pants and faint if it ever happened
I realized a little later how close I came to being absolutely fucked
Did one of my illnesses cancel out the other or what? 😂
When your ass is truly on the line, your brain will take over quite nicely. I don't mean mere fear or apprehension, I mean, "I will die if I don't act as needed." Many go their whole lives without that experience. This is not an "illness" thing.
That might just be adrenaline tbh
Non standard actions in response to stressors is a known possibility with some neurodivergent diagnoses.
Calm responses to subjectively large issues or dangerous situations as well as subjectively oversized reactions to seemingly normal stimuli (sound being a common example).
Milo? It's Barb, isn't it?
crazy that both barb and milo had this happen to them
Milo is the name of the animated character from the profile picture. They repurposed the story to be a meme about the show.
People really just steal stories and pass them off as their own.
It's called The Bible.
The Barble
You really think people would do that? Go on the internet and tell lies?
My toaster caught on fire yesterday and when I realized it there was a flame like two feet high almost touching my cabinets so I panicked and picked it up so it wouldn't catch my cabinets on fire but then I was just standing in my kitchen holding a flaming toaster and my dad saw me and didn't say anything and I didn't know what to do so I ran outside with it and threw it at the ground but it was on fire so I picked it up and threw it again and again until it went out but then my grass was on fire so I beat it with a shovel until that went out too. Then I came back inside and my dad was just like
"Whatcha cookin baguettefish"
I enjoyed this story.
OMG you too?
It's not like it was a true story in the first place.
It's contagious. You see, the virus spreads with the ashes of burnt grass. These tiny particles are inhaled or ingested accidentally by another person, and after a few weeks, they burn their toast, and are compelled to take the burning toaster outside, burning more grass and restarting the cycle all over again.
Milo is perpetually prepared for every disaster though, and basically never panics.
My old roommate's girlfriend lit our oven on fire. She was stoned out of her mind, and just calmly walked around the corner and said, "Hey, your oven is on fire, I don't know if you want to do anything about that."
I ran into the kitchen and put it out with the extinguisher that was 3 feet away from her. Some people aren't made for emergency situations.
I put out a grease fire in an electric burner with fitted sheet, after unplugging, seemed cheaper than the fire extinguisher I had right there. My mom was super freaked about the burnt sheet tho, like it was disturbing
Yeah my ex and his brother were tripping and cooking and caught the wok on fire; I was like "guys, the kitchen is full of smoke and fire" and as ex brother outlaw was a chef his muscle memory worked but not before my lunatic ex tried to pick up the burning pan with his hand. Leading to the emergency room visit that taught me just how evil for-profit healthcare is.
She got the problem solved while heavily under the influence of narcotics. Seems rude to call that "not being made for emergency situations".
Don't ask me how because I don't remember but my grill pan caught on fire in my oven, I lived in a 2nd floor flat so once I realised I just took it outside and left it at the bottom of the stairs. Went back inside for some water and took that down and doused the grill.
Today on: Things that never happened
It is someone roleplaying as Milo Murphy from the animated series Milo Murphy's Law. The joke is that Milo is a direct descendant of that Murphy and the Law describes his family.
I think Milo was a lizzard person that forgot humans aren't very fire resistance.
I could never do that joke with a straight face.