A paid poop is one of life's simple pleasures
this post was submitted on 28 Apr 2026
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Honestly a heated bidet is better. Now I'm not saying give up bathroom breaks - smoke a J in there, or go wander in a park for a while. But my bunghole only appears when there's an oscillating jet of 100* water ready to blast it spotless.
Not as big of a deal when your salary.
Except pooping at work means less people and animals to come talk to me when I’m doing it.
Even when on salary pooping on company time is amazing
Why do people censor things?!
What i want to know is what he person who put a line through the word shit here thought they were achieving?
It's so entirely transparent and useless, what's going through that person's head?
Because the people who tell you to censor things are fucking annoying.
Can you edit out the fuck in your comment it sounds really aggressive.
Only if you can fucking edit the fuck out of yours /s
Don't tell me what to do.
Only if you don't.
I know you're being sarcastic but it's hilarious coming from someone with your username. Big fan of yours btw.
Seriously, it's really pissing me off. Corporations already have way too much influence over tech and culture, why are we surrending more ground and self-censoring to appease them. These people need to find some self-respect and stop kowtowing to the algorithms.
How does it go? The boss gets a dollar, I get a dime. That's why I shit on company's time.
I work from home, mothafucka.
I used to work with someone who went for a shit 10 minutes into starting work. Took a full hour in the toliet. Then later would have his lunch for 30 minutes then go for another hour long shit
That's efficient compared to the people I worked with. Next you'll tell me they didn't leave shit stains on the toilet seat.
No shit stains luckily. He did get promoted over me though as "he brought more knowledge to the team". It wasn't long after that I looked for a new job
Shit your pants and go home early
Back when I worked for a health department there was pretty good evidence that people mostly shit at work.
I came across this evidence when inspecting homeless encampments which was also when I came to learn most of them fucking had jobs.
Then covid came around and all the remote workers started blowing up their septic systems because they'd never been used so much and during the daytime.
The sanitary overlap between tent cities and fancy farmhouses is much larger than you'd expect.
Back when I worked for a health department there was pretty good evidence that people mostly shit at work.
I mean it's where people spend a significant amount of their awake time and plenty of people start the workday at the coffee machine, with coffee being a notorious poop accelerant.
Lady shit her panties or something? Who rubs the butt like that when they have to poop? I'm tightening the cheeks when I gotta do number two
She waited too long, and now she is doing the duck walk of shame keeping it from touching cloth.
Prairie dogging on an inflamed hemorrhoid.
'rhoid rage.
Oh no poop is coming out of my hip!!
I’m certain this photo was intended to portray back pain
that stock photo on the right
Every "oh yeah just poop on company time" motherfucker just casually bragging about their platinum laced anus that can withstand being sandpapered to death by the world's cheapest toilet paper (which should be banned btw)
Bring your own toilet paper. You'll still make a profit
Im cool but i'm not so cool i can ignore hushed whispers of "that's the guy.... yea, brings his own tp, yea, weird shit"
I’ve brought my own TP for when I have to go into the office for.. forever. If I can’t be home with my bidet, I’m already in nightmare shit land. Might as well have some small comfort in my soft paper with the wavy tear lines…
well, nobody says shit about you, you're cool
Likewise, you’d be fine to indulge in the niceties of the shittiverse!
Bring a whole fresh pack of the good stuff to work and stock all the toilets. Do it once but never again.
Fair nuff. Sounds like a personal battle!
every battle is a personal battle in a way, even a real battle, like, personally i wouldn't be there
Lmao! I hope you have a good day
As I said in my other comment, my office actually stocks us with good enough tp I steal some almost every day for home. Haven't paid for shit tape in almost a year now.
I'm personally not a fan of TP, it's anti human as it creates a pay to poop system. After the revolution everyone will have a bidet. We will not subject ourselves to poopy butts, anymore!
I bring wet wipes to work.
Walk to the farthest toilet in the facility that you can. Preferably the one near HR or upper management.
Not longer my problem
*shit
I poop twice a day at the office
I'll poop at the beginning of the shift and "poop" toward the end when I want to chill undisturbed on my phone for a bit.
After 10 years of employment robbing me of autonomy over my bodily processes due to "the rush" and "the bell schedule", I now get to poop when I need to. I'm with comrade leeroy, though. If I go more than once a day, I'm chafing and itching the rest of the day cuz of the barbaric paper they expect us to use
My work actually has pretty nice tp. In fact I steal some every day before I clock out. Haven't bought a roll in almost a year lmao.
@sharkfucker420 i was known to poop on the clock so much folks would come find me to issue their questions.
How many of those questions were about diet and laxative recommendations?