Alexa is the intruder itself.
this post was submitted on 25 May 2026
346 points (95.1% liked)
Lemmy Shitpost
40813 readers
4862 users here now
Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
Rules:
1. Be Respectful
Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.
Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.
...
2. No Illegal Content
Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.
That means:
-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals
-No CSA content or Revenge Porn
-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)
...
3. No Spam
Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.
-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.
-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.
-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers
-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.
...
4. No Porn/Explicit
Content
-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.
-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.
...
5. No Enciting Harassment,
Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts
-Do not Brigade other Communities
-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.
-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.
-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.
...
6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.
...
If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.
Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
1.Memes
10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)
Reach out to
All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
Indeed. Why would anyone use them despite not even getting paid for it but paying for it?
Home Assistant!
Lmao, I assumed it was free spyware, ppl pay for it too? Ayyyroflufocopter.
But hey, it can also switch on your lights and play music. If you also pay for prime :-)
Then release a dozen roombas
With frickin' laser beams attached to their heads
WHERES THE HEAD ON A ROOMBA??? 😳
Opposite the tail
.
.
W̵̧͚͔͖͇̝͕͚̪̝̫̫̼͋͜ͅͅḤ̸̢̡̧͚̖̞̜̟̝͎͎̰̫̪̰̗̳͍̪͙̣͚̤̞̈͑̊̅̐̿̄̉̾͂͋̚͘͝͝Ë̵̺̼͈̭̼̪͕̟̯̖̠̩̝̖́͋̀͋͂̿̇̑̎̑̉́̅͂̾̎͛̚R̵̢̛̬͎̼̮͍̹̭̼̈̐̋̐̋͋͊̒̌͒͘̕͘͝ͅE̷̢̛͓͙̤̺̱͕̯͔͙̫̠̮̘̠̭͙̭͓̗̼͓̼͖̦̙̥̻̟̦͒͆̈́̎͆͐̃͛͒̀̈́͊̋̿̈́̄̃̆͒͐̿̋̓̑́͒͘͘̚̕͜͜͝͠͝͝ͅͅS̷̡̢̨̧̛͔̯̦̺̯̹̠̪̒̈́̉̎͆̔͗̏͂͠ͅ ̷̢͎̙̜̫͚̰̙̙̅́̿̉̿̒̂͊͂̃̋̀̅̒͋͆̔̈̋̈́̔̋͝͠ͅT̴̡̨̢̢̰̘̜͖̯̹͚̜̯̖̖̲̰͍̯̮̲̙̟̰̩̪̱͔̩̺̞͖̫̖̋́̉̿̈́̓͗̍̒̇̆̈́̾͛̎̊̈́́̍̈̂̀͌̋̀̄͊̌̋͗͒̀̕̚͘͜͝͠͝͝Ḧ̸̢͎́̋̌̾͗̑́̓͒̈́̇́̒͂̿̇̆̅̈͊̐̓̄̀̊̚̚͝͝͝͠͝Ę̸̡̲̪͔͎̱͉̯̹͔̜̮̗̤̫̦̞̤͎̗̖́͐̀̄͆̂̀̓̒̿͗͐̈͌͗̏̓̅͜ ̶̡̢̛̟̙̗̩̝̮̤͛̎͒̇͌̏̄̉̀̈́̀̽̔̅̉̚F̷̨̖̰͎̟͎͔͔͓̻͔̤̥͔͒̍̀͊̌̒͂̔̍̐͑̃̄̈́͌̿͊͆̓̆́͜͝Ư̷̧̧̥̘̹̘͖̣̞̹̳̾̎̈̀͜C̷̼͒̈̅̉͑͊̐̌̽̒̀͐̋̚͝K̸̢̧͎̞͍̝͍͎̥̬͓̱͙̦̠͓̜̣̣̜̤̩̫͕̻̟̪̿̔͑̂̈͒̈́͛̈̌̈́̃̓̆͋̄̒̓̔͗̈́̆̄̅̅̃̚̚̚͜Į̴͔͉͉̮͕̗̞̮̼̠͚͍̯̫̼͓̜̠̙̼̺̥̲̦͕͎̱̞̑̓̑̀̒̆͛́͊͗̾̌̇͒͒̀̌̂́͒́̊̉͠ͅŅ̶̡̧̤̰̜̺͔̱̙̤̫͇̼̳̫̤͖͇̪̣͍̘̩̬̞͈͓̘̖̝̲̓͐͂̾̔͂̔ͅͅͅG̸̰̯̠̬̐̎̾̏̂̉́̉͊̅͑͊̍̉͐̈́̎̈̌̍͋͗̑̀̽͊̏̄̈́͘̕͘͘͝ ̷̨̧̹̖̣͉̖͔̩̯͑̾̎̂̊͊́̓̉̑͘͘͝͝͝͝T̸̡̻͓̬̻̜̹̠̭͙̞̩̦̜͇͈̦̖̖̞̫̫̭̱͓̝̭͓̼̯͍̩̝̫͑̽͊͒͑̾͊̓̌͗̚̕̚͜͝͠ͅA̴͙̗̦̱̣̗͕͉͆̈́̚ͅȊ̷̧̧̢̢̧̢̗̱͓̗͈̟̠̩̳͙̹̠̜͎̬̞̯͕͕̺̭̖͈̗͓̺̣͚̖̄͒̆̀̌͜Ḻ̷̨̢̦̦̦͕͇͙͚̙̜͎̙͔̯̺͖͖̳͙̝͔̗̬̯̃̎̋͂͆̒̾̿
.
.
Posterior to the head.
You know, I had one simple request
Now redo it in HomeAssistant and with selfhosted music to get rid of the surveillance in your home.
The intruder was Alexa
Well, this break and enter has turned into an execution for the mashing of IP.
The TOS Kirk v. Hostile alien music would be more appropriate. The Borg never threatened to kill, they aren't Ingo Montoya.
with jim carreys cable guy version dubbed over top
Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaahhhhh!!!
*Bingo Montoya
Fuck that noise.
You want a fight? You better be blasting Duel of the Fates, otherwise I don't want any.
I always thought it'd be cool to build one of those remote controled nerf tanks but with a paintball gun. Then set it to patrol the house. It's a lot more doable now that I'm running home assistant but I'm still not sure how yo make it happen.
Sounds like something Michael Reeves would make
I believe in your dream and I hope one day you can make this happen.
With pepperballs
You should really consider never using Alexa again.
Seriously, this is Spyware in your home for Amazon, and they work with and share their data with law enforcement.
I prefer Ride of the Valkyries to Imperial March.
Does the floor lamp have a "strobe" mode?
Imperial March is out of sorts here. The alert the message and then a John Williams march? Get some audio to set the mood, like No Love by Death Grips or Caledonia by Cro-Magnon.
Yakety sax and have a robot shoot paintballs with gentian violet die. (Doesn't wash off, if you use enough it will soak through clothes so masks aren't so useful.)
Also deploy disco ball from ceiling
This is actually a better home protection plan than "have loaded guns in every room in case I need to draw on the baddies stealing my Xbox as they barge into my living room and I dive behind the sofa." It will scare 9/10 burglars away, and it gives you an opportunity to set up a defensive position without noise giving it away.
Thisiswherethefunbegins.wav
My alarm is seriously like that! I put an air raid siren
Red spy in the base?
What're you? President of his fan club?
Say "I'm gonna do to you what Janeway should have done to Tuvix at the start of the episode."
Play "Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing On Rainbows - 12 hour version"
Really confuse them, use this version of the Imperial March
Sounds like an American WWII propaganda song