Technically this is fruit leather.
this post was submitted on 28 May 2026
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A tomato fruit roll-up
By the foot? Nope. Yard? No. It's a to-meter!
Technically this is a crime against condiments.
Sure thing, Ronnie, let's get you back to ~~bed~~ dead.
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Hear me out:
But I want sugar, salt and vinegar too. It adds a pep to it.
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How I imagine the meeting went:
"ok we're out of ideas... Let's just go with whatever the next thing said here is."
"... ketchup slices?"
"How do you even?... God damn it... Fine. Ketchup slices. Christ forgive me.."
I think it's more, "fuck... Bad news. Our Newark factory had an operator completely fuck up and use ten times the thickening agent for the ketchup. It came out as a big fucking block, 10 feet cubed of pure ketchup."
"Sir, I have an idea"
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Narrator: "Christ did not forgive them."
Who comes up with these things?
Capitalists
With the unit price going way up by selling a 10 pack of slices for the cost of a bottle of ketchup, somebody probably got a promotion for this idea.
Great people those capitalists.
I bet they'd get along with my neighbors. I live across from a cemetery
Which is a great way to extract extra revenue from a piece of property.
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This is ketchup leather. It's not a new idea; it's been around since fancy burger places with wood walls and exposed edison light bulbs started to be a thing in the early 2010s.
It's just dehydrated ketchup. It makes ketchup more of a topping than a condiment and helps prevent the problem of everything squirting out of the other side of the bun when you take a bite.
Besides your introduction you make a fairly solid case for this product. Have you tried it?
Sounds to me it would actually work very nicely on a well made restaurant burger (in contrast to fast food burgers), which tend to have juicy meat and therefor have less need for extra lubrication.
I've tried it. The ketchup flavor gets concentrated. It's actually a neat idea and not an abomination against nature like a lot of the comments here. There are plenty of recipes online if you want to make your own at home.
The abomination is how Hellman's had to dumb it down and call it "ketchup slices".
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How about a slice of tomato instead?
Whoa, whoa, whoa that doesn’t make a stock price go up
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Ultraprocessed mystery meat patty?
Yes!
Ultraprocessed buns with exxxtra sugar?
Yummy!
Ultraprocessed processed-tomatoes, but in a slice instead of sludge?
Ewww, no, there is a line!
When I was a kid, I did some stupid things. And then the other kids punched me.
I stopped doing stupid things.
What I'm saying here, is that kids need to go back to punching the stupid kids. Someone should have punched whoever thought of this.
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Honestly I'm intrigued. I don't love the individual plastic wrapping, but it does seem like a good way to get ketchup all the way on the edges without worrying about spilling it everywhere
Yes we must relieve people from the burden of having to master the difficult skill of putting condiments on a burger.
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I love the dirty
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People who buy this shit are why companies get to kill a certain number of us every year without consequences.
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In American schools, this is considered a serving of vegetables.
The first ketchup you could use to roll a fatty like dogg lemme hit that Heinz 57 Blunt
I'd try it.
I doubt I'd like it for the things I tend to like ketchup with, because any thickened sauce that firm is going to have less presence on the tongue. Ketchup is a sweet, vinegary punch. You thicken that enough for a slice, and even if it's meltable, you still don't have the same capability of the relevant compounds to spread across the palate in the right way just isn't there.
But it's not some kind of crazy idea. There's plenty of ways to get a "gel" version of a given sauce or condiment. Hell, an aspic isn't exactly far off from this as it is, and tomato aspic is yummy as hell, if not as punchy as ketchup.
If it prevents the ketchup from leaking on the other end when biting then I'm willing to try.
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wow people in the comments are REALLY fired up about the idea of ketchup existing in unfamiliar forms.
Remember when they sold non conforming ketchup colors, such as green, blue, and purple?
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Wasn't ketchup bad enough?
Red plastic 😋
Please stop proudly deteriorating, America.
I'd try it. Is it really any more "processed" than ketchup already is?
Pat this baby next to a slice of ultra processed american cheese and reach burgerland enlightenment.
I mean, ketchup doesn't have to be horrendously processed. You can get a basic ketchup by mixing purreed tomatoes, vinegar, salt and sugar.
But sure, whatever these burger chains typically serve as ketchup, that has many more ingredients...
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