this post was submitted on 06 Jun 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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[–] NottaLottaOcelot@lemmy.ca 15 points 1 day ago

I hated telling my dad when I was pregnant. Admitting to your father that you have had sex is awkward, even if you’re 28 and you’ve been married for a few years.

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 5 points 1 day ago

Artificially inseminated people:

[–] baggachipz@sh.itjust.works 40 points 2 days ago (1 children)

“We’re trying for a baby!”

Oh, cool, he’s raw-dogging you all the time and you’re stewing in it ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

[–] PlaidBaron@lemmy.world 32 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I swear Americans have a very weird hangup about people having sex.

[–] Bluewing@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

As an 'Merican, I cannot say I have ever met anyone who has this kind of hangup about sex. You should see the stupid sex reveals some couples do these days.

It's a funny meme sometimes, but remember that old Ben Franklin sexy-timed his way across Europe. He was a first order philanderer. And Britain's dismayed complaint against US troops during WW2, “overpaid and oversexed.”

[–] radiofreebc@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Wait until you go to Japan. You haven't seen anything yet.

[–] cornshark@lemmy.world 17 points 2 days ago

Is the reason I haven't seen anything yet because of the censor bars?

[–] ByteJunk@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Is there a website, or...? Purely scientific interest.

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[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

I've seen some gameshows

[–] PM_ME_VINTAGE_30S@anarchist.nexus 73 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Counterpoint: it's proof that you had sex 💪

[–] Bluewing@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Counter-counterpoint: If you get pregnant, at some time in the very near future, somebody is bound to notice. Whether you say something about it or not.

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 14 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] PM_ME_VINTAGE_30S@anarchist.nexus 6 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

ohnoes

But then doesn't that also defeat the meme? Is IVF "totally inappropriate"? thonk

[–] ddplf@szmer.info 8 points 2 days ago (2 children)

It absolutely is if you ask the catholic church

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[–] aggelalex@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

Nice antinatalist meme

[–] db2@lemmy.world 50 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (3 children)

A language shitpost? Interesting.

"Embarrassed" was a word that meant pregnant out of wedlock, though we don't really use it that way anymore. The sentence could be read to mean "the thought of pregnancy makes me pregnant". I'm surprised Japanese comics haven't found this one.

[–] eareetator@lemmy.world 20 points 2 days ago (1 children)

It’s still used in Spanish. Ella está embarazada (She is pregnant)

[–] EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com 7 points 2 days ago

And that is a good example of a false cognate

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[–] spicytuna62@lemmy.world 36 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (4 children)

Not only did my parents have sex (ew), but also, I didn't fuckin' ask to be here. Now I have to do shit like:

  • Have a job,
  • Pay bills,
  • Go to my job so I can pay my bills so I can go to my job so I can pay my bills so I can go to my job so I can pay my bills so I can go to my job so I can pay my bills so I can go to my job so I can pay my bills...
  • Brush and see a dentist regularly,
  • Wear pants,
  • Be anxious, depressed, autistic, and attention insufficient,
  • Take medications for the above conditions,
  • Poop,
  • Pee,
  • Eat healthy regularly,
  • Not get fat despite all of the easy to get calorie-dense foods out there,
  • Schedule checkups with a doctor, and eventually
  • Die

And society (whatever that is) expects me to have sex and have kids, too! UGH.

[–] yermaw@sh.itjust.works 22 points 2 days ago

How the hell did all this human form get on my incorporeal essence?

Thanks mom.

[–] conartistpanda@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

Don't forget the probability of getting an incurable disease!

[–] yermaw@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 days ago

Have 2 kids. Double it and pass it on.

Wait 4 kids because you need 2 people to make baby.

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[–] lemonwood@lemmy.ml 16 points 2 days ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Embarrassment is an evolutionary adaptation that functions to make social situations work. Individuals who never get embarrassed are less likely to manage social cues, have sex and get pregnant and pass their genes on. So feeling embarrassed is actually proof of all the sex your ancestors had and you could be having. /j

Source: none, it's easy to make up arguments involving supposedly evolved behavior. Never take them too seriously, they are almost impossible to disproof. Countless other explanations are possible. Like it could be cultural or a byproduct of another adaptation or a mixture of different things.

[–] grandma@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 days ago (3 children)
[–] manuremy@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 day ago

How to knoe if pregante??

[–] bhamlin@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago

How is babby formed?

[–] texture@lemmy.world 13 points 2 days ago (3 children)
[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

If you're married, do it only for procreation, and pray first.

[–] texture@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

sounds risky... how should i punish my wife should she fail to become pregnert?

[–] webp@mander.xyz 6 points 2 days ago (3 children)
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[–] bandanawearingbanana@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Hey OP, guess what your parents did to make YOU! They had sex and I don't mean the normal kind either.

They had wet balls slapping, pussy gushing raw sex to make you. They really went at it. For days at a time. Creampie everytime with fingers in the arse to stimulate. If you didn't like reading this maybe consider not shoving your weird morals in our faces we won't shove our cunts into your face.

This is a shit post. What about this post made you think that this was a serious moral position on the part of OP?

I thought your reply was funny until the bit about the morals made it seem like you were serious.

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 5 points 1 day ago

What do you mean that is not the normal kind? what is the normal kind? Hotdogging your wenie?

[–] erev@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago

This is a bit unnecessarily mean. OP made a post about themselves and how they react to a very personal and intimate act being "publicized". While OP might need therapy, they aren't shoving jack shit in anyones face. Instead you're going out of your way to say things that you think would make OP uncomfortable.

In bird culture that's considered a dick move.

That is no longer necessary

[–] JackTea@piefed.world 13 points 2 days ago (11 children)

I like to point at pregnant people and say "I know what you did a year ago!"
Before they respond, I add, "you went to [insert name of popular baby store]".
/This initiates confusion. And then implies, like pet stores, you can also buy baby items and a baby.
//yes, I know how pregnancy works. I have to find ways to let my weird out

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[–] Mac@mander.xyz 6 points 2 days ago

You had secks???

Mods, ban em

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 days ago

Many children today have been conceived in a lab, without sex. Their parents may also have had sex but pregnancy isn't "proof."

[–] zxqwas@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

Yeah and parents taking their kids to the playground is the worst. Perverts like that have no business being around kids!!!!1

[–] Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 5 points 2 days ago

Nope, conception could have occurred via artificial means.

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

Why be embarrassed to have sex? Be happy to have sex.

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