this post was submitted on 11 Jul 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Sturgist@piefed.ca 7 points 24 minutes ago

No splashback.

No aiming.

Sometimes the tip touches the bowl and you feel like you should get tested..... even at home.....

[–] foo@feddit.uk 28 points 1 hour ago (2 children)

As a man, I don't justify my choice of peeing positions to anyone. I sit or stand if I want to, and anyone who doesn't like it can fuck off and take their opinions with them.

[–] Hikermick@lemmy.world 12 points 1 hour ago

I too am pro-choice

[–] somethingsnappy@lemmy.world 1 points 15 minutes ago

Sir, please don't sit in the urinal.

[–] Hylactor@sopuli.xyz 38 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

I've been a devoted sitter for a while. If you stand, you are peeing on your floor. Maybe not a lot, maybe not even a perceptible amount on any individual trip, but definitely some, and over time, a lot. I'm of the opinion it's weird to pee on your own floor, and have been enthusiastically lambasted for this on multiple occasions. Some men for example find it unmanly. Which, putting aside for a moment the fact that there is no inherent correlation with manliness and goodness, is bullshit. Unless they stand to pee when pooping, they already pee sitting down on a regular basis. All I'm doing is increasing the frequency of seated micturation.

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 hour ago (3 children)

You're weird because apparently you don't clean your bathroom floors.

Sure, microscopic amounts of pee gets on the floor. Then, every couple of weeks you clean your bathroom.

You know that when you flush a toilet you aerosolize a bit of the contents and they drift out and land around the room too. Does that bother you?

[–] Hylactor@sopuli.xyz 1 points 5 minutes ago

I guess I would just say that I feel the acceptable amount for one to pee on their own floor willfully is none. Flushing may present a new issue after the fact, but I can't see a way around flushing. I can however see a way around electing to pee in a sloppy manner because I'm lazy. Though arguably sitting is famously more comfortable than standing, so perhaps impatient would be more accurate than lazy.

[–] Jessicat@lemmy.world 1 points 48 minutes ago* (last edited 47 minutes ago)

That’s why you close the lid to flush… That absolutely bothers me, I wear retainers and they clean in a solution on the counter during the day. I don’t want pee on them or my toothbrush!

[–] xkbx@startrek.website 2 points 52 minutes ago

If you stay seated it’s just your legs that get aerosolized and that’s even easier to wash

[–] SunshineJogger@feddit.org 3 points 32 minutes ago* (last edited 31 minutes ago)

I've turned too old.... If I sit not all comes out and I have to go again an hour later.

It sucks.

My doctor tells me it's that I'm just getting older.... I'm mid 40.

So standing is the only really effective way to pee for me now sadly

[–] gegil@sopuli.xyz 15 points 1 hour ago

As an owner of girlcock, i do pee while sitting, unless i have to use public restroom, then i pee standing. Public toilets are way to creepy and gross for me to touch them.

[–] WesternInfidels@feddit.online 1 points 32 minutes ago

When I became the bathroom-cleaner in my household, I switched to sitting. It wasn't until I got my nose and eyeballs right down close to the floor and the toilet on a regular basis that I learned how bad the splashing situation really was.

[–] Dequei@piefed.social 1 points 32 minutes ago

I want to sit, but I stand because, idk why but I don't pee all the pee

[–] Carmakazi@piefed.social 43 points 2 hours ago

I've worked in one of those oldhead machine shops where they deliberately don't have any chairs in the work area because "if you're not standing you're not working." You bet I sat my ass down on the toilet instead of using the urinal.

[–] Zwiebel@feddit.org 24 points 2 hours ago (2 children)

Sit at home stand in public toilets

[–] Gintoki@lemmy.zip 15 points 2 hours ago (2 children)

Yeah i stand at public toilet too and i always clean the shitstains in the public toilet with my pee

[–] red_tomato@lemmy.world 4 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago)

Society appreciates you for your invaluable service!

[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 0 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

I wouldn't, I don't want to release people's fecal particles into the air while I'm standing there. I find a clean toilet or I go to a different bathroom

[–] yermaw@sh.itjust.works 1 points 11 minutes ago

Legend says his ghost still wanders, searching for a clean public toilet, so his spirit may finally be at peace.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 7 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Wouldn't your feet get wet?

[–] DmMacniel@feddit.org 5 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Not when you do a handstand.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 2 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Wouldn't your hands get wet?

[–] Gintoki@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago)

That's when you use your pee to propel yourself.

[–] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago) (1 children)

I sit down when I pee
There's nothing that crazy 'bout me
I'm just takin' a whiz, mind your own biz
Why is everybody always staring at me?

Hey bro, I gotta go
Let me through, I gotta go number two

No can do, I'm taking a pee
Sitting on the loo, having a good long wee

Are you sitting down?

I'm sitting down

And you're not making brown?

I'm not making brown

Are you making iced tea?

Just lemonade

But are you sitting down?

I'm sitting down!

Why don't you stand like a regular man?
Then you can pee in the urinal can

If you really wanna know why I'm sitting strong
I just can't stand touching my dong

[–] mastertigurius@lemmy.world 2 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Why did I hear Eminem's voice shouting this?

Eminem & Dre. Eminem is the one sitting down to pee. Dre has to go number two.

[–] mereo@piefed.ca 1 points 54 minutes ago

I sit. It's comfortable, and you don't need to clean up any messes from splashback.

[–] JigglySackles@lemmy.world 14 points 2 hours ago (3 children)

Depends what I'm doing. Escaping work? Sit. Half asleep? Sit. Just trying to get shit done but I'm having this annoying ass interruption? Stand. Watering the graves of assholes? Stand. Anything else is basically sit. Oh except gross toilets you really don't want to touch.

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 5 points 1 hour ago

Sitting for a midnight piss makes it a lot easier for me to get back to sleep.

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 hour ago

ass interruption

Do you have a cloaca?

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 hour ago

Sitting down takes longer. IMO it also flows more easily if I'm standing. I'll sit if I'm tired, or half-asleep, or whatever. I'll stand most of the time to get it over with faster.

Weiner touching porcelain:
hot dog on a fancy plate ✅
sitting down to pee 🤢

[–] Zier@fedia.io 1 points 1 hour ago

There are a few medical studies that promote sitting because the muscles men use to urinate relax more while sitting.

[–] FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io 3 points 1 hour ago

I chimney up the stall about halfway and drop that deuce like a mountain goat.

[–] PP_BOY_@lemmy.world 8 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Don... do you pee just once a day?

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 8 points 2 hours ago

He also shits standing up.

[–] BallShapedMan@lemmy.world 4 points 2 hours ago

At night, sit. I don't want to clean that shit. Unless I'm pissing in the fridge, the light and cold air is nice.

P.S. I'm trying to donate a kidney and I needed to keep 24 hours of urine refrigerated. At night I figured there was no reason to take the jug to the bathroom.

[–] JoShmoe@ani.social 3 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

You’re all wrong. The only proper way is to sit down in reverse. It gives you direct access to the funnel, zero chance of missing.

[–] paranoid@lemmy.world 7 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Plus you can use the back of the toilet as a little table for your snacks

[–] Skanky@lemmy.world 2 points 57 minutes ago

I see that you too, are a watcher of South Park. Good day to you sir!

[–] twinnie@feddit.uk 3 points 2 hours ago

Sit at home, stand at work. My daughter would reach through my legs and try to grab the stream so it’s just habit now.

[–] Diddlydee@feddit.uk 1 points 1 hour ago (1 children)
[–] HerbalGamer@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 hour ago

Better than a long ass-piss.

[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 hour ago

There comes a time in a man's life when sitting down on the toilet means your carry-on might meet an unexpected water landing.

[–] thagoat@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 hour ago
[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago (2 children)

I thought the comments were going to be how weird this bathroom's layout is. They're just looking at each other pee....

[–] saltesc@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago

The sitter is really eager and the stander is pinching their dick off in rapid.jmtervals.

[–] DmMacniel@feddit.org 1 points 2 hours ago

to assert dominance.