this post was submitted on 20 Jul 2026

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117

Reliable messenger for family use? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 month ago by anakin78z@lemmy.world to c/selfhosted@lemmy.world

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Hello,

I've been self hosting Nextcloud for the last half a year, and my family has been using Nextcloud Talk to communicate. However, as cool it is overall, we suffer from a lot of missed messages. I've been keeping an eye on (and contributing to) the Android app, but even with all the updates, it seems like they can't quite figure out the issue with notifications not appearing consistently. My wife is fed up, so I'm looking for alternatives.

It seems like Matrix is the next logical one to try, but the Android apps have pretty poor reviews. A lot of the self hosted messengers also seem to be more like Slack replacements, rather than focused on family & friend use.

Has anyone had a good experience with a self hosted messenger for family use?

Thanks!

(page 2) 27 comments

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[–] utjebe@reddthat.com 2 points 1 month ago (5 children)

I'd love to run matrix but is seem/what I'm reading PITA to run.

I'm considering Zulip and Mattermost.

[–] JadedBlueEyes@programming.dev 2 points 1 month ago

If you want an easier Matrix self-hosting experience https://continuwuity.org/ is a good option :3

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[–] kate@lemmy.uhhoh.com 1 points 1 month ago

I’m hosting a matrix/synapse server and it’s been pretty great tbh. I use this ansible project to manage installation and updates for me and it’s been fairly painless

[–] anon_8675309@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

We use synapse (Matrix). Its stability is great but we have stable internet and backup power so…

[–] metalua@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

I just think that it sounds way too hard to have a messaging app working nowadays. I mean, from a developer perspective.

I just wished PWA was better integrated with mobile OSes so notifications worked effortlessly. That way, building my own solution would be almost trivial I think.

If I went full .apk style I certainly would miss iOS(no time to waste on Apple SDK or whatever), and Google is day after day hardening the process of installing homemade .apk.

What I am aiming at is that the discussion should not be "which messaging app/service is best according to xyz criteria", and yes "why building my solution is not trivial?".(of course I appreciate the current discussion, I just want to expand it)

[–] johntash@eviltoast.org 1 points 1 month ago

I like the idea of matrix, but I wouldn't recommend it yet. Maybe after a few more years if the ux improves.

[–] monoboy@lemmy.zip 0 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

The fun one is host an OSCAR server and use AIM.

https://veronicaexplains.net/open-oscar-server/

It's super lightweight to host, simple to setup, and works with any open source client that used to work with AIM.

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