this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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[–] Broadfern@lemmy.world 1 points 9 minutes ago

Wear nicely fitting clothes (tailored if you can get them), be warm if you’re approached, express genuine interest in what the other person is saying. Bonus points for sense of humor.

[–] Smaile@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 hour ago

oh well, may as well enjoy the vibes.

[–] grrgyle@slrpnk.net 7 points 2 hours ago

Every house party rofl

[–] THE_GR8_MIKE@lemmy.world 12 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Same with having a nice car lol

[–] PP_BOY_@lemmy.world 75 points 6 hours ago (2 children)
[–] Carnelian@lemmy.world 38 points 4 hours ago (21 children)

I understand it’s a joke but I wanted to throw some other numbers out there for people to consider, since resistance training can massively improve your quality of life and it’s very common for people to believe it needs to be a full time job to see results. For disclosure, I am a trainer but don’t offer services via lemmy

But you can get head-turning, people-ask-you-questions-unprompted levels of muscular with <5 hours a week in the gym. And that’s the full time commitment for what I’d called a “serious trainee”, any more than that is mainly for people who simply love training as a form of recreation and actively want to spend more time lifting.

Most of my clients do 2.5 hours a week and still get great visual results, albeit more slowly. More importantly, you cash in on quality of life benefits with shockingly little weekly commitment. Even one session per week is enough to feel huge improvements in energy and endurance during day to day tasks, improve your metabolic health, improve your bone health, improve your mental health, as well as experience the whole cascade of improved injury outcomes (for example resistance trained individuals are less likely to fall, less likely to be injured if they do fall, and are more likely to make a full recovery if they do get injured).

It’s extremely worth starting, for all ages and genders. Again, apologies for being overly serious under a joke. I like to leave little comments like this under popular gym posts because it occasionally results in someone beginning or returning to training

[–] Gonzako@lemmy.world 1 points 34 minutes ago

Does it have to be with the gym? Is there anything that generally being active doesn't cover?

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 13 points 4 hours ago (4 children)

I know there's probably isn't your area of expertise, but I don't know where else to ask.

Are there any gym memberships out there that aren't completely sketchy and impossible to cancel?

[–] blarghly@lemmy.world 1 points 22 minutes ago

Find a locally owned gym. Ask what their policy is on day passes, month to month, contracts, etc. The cost will be a bit higher than Planet Fitness, but they probably won't screw you, and the community tends to be way better.

Also, if you want to get fit, I highly recommend finding a gym that is either "fun" or offers classes. Rock climbing, gymnastics/acrobatics, martial arts, etc tend to be more fun and engaging than showing up 3 days a week to do 3 sets of 8, and if your goal is to just generally get fit and healthy. For that matter, there are also often groups meeting up all over cities for free or cheap to run, cycle, walk, boat, play sports, etc. And if you're really dedicated to some kind of lifting, having a time and place to show up, where you know you will see friendly faces trying hard together is far more likely to keep you consistent. This is why crossfitters are often ripped, despite crossfit being a dumb training philosophy - it got the fundamentals right: get people to show up consistently and try hard by making a welcoming community that gathers at a regular time and place. Often powerlifting, oly lifting, kettlebell, strongman, and off-brand/crossfit-style gyms will offer regular classes where people train together for this very reason.

[–] dgdft@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago)

As a sweeping generalization, this is only a problem with chain gyms.

If you need a solid litmus test though, call them during core hours and ask for a quick tour. Nearly all indie gyms will let you pay for a day pass or similar if you’re new (though that isn’t always part of their posted rates). If they won’t let you test the waters without signing up for recurring payment, it’s not a gym worth going to.

[–] Carnelian@lemmy.world 7 points 4 hours ago

Definitely, and actually you would be surprised. A lot of places introduced no-contract memberships after covid. Lots of places went out of business too, then all that equipment went up for sale for cheap and lots of new places ended up opening.

But the main thing to look for is small, privately owned gyms. I can really only speak to my area, but I have several. The most common arrangement is simply that you pay monthly, can cancel any time you want, but every time you sign up again there’s a sign-up fee. One other place I know simply charges an extra $10 per month for a no-commitment membership.

Keep an eye out, again for smaller privately owned commercial gyms in general, but also for specialized gyms such as those that cater to powerlifting, olympic lifting, or strongman. Usually they are lacking in “amenities” that drive the price up, and are less likely to have predatory subscription schemes in general. The only downside is that these places can seem very intimidating at first, but the community is likely to be very welcoming

[–] otter@lemmy.ca 2 points 3 hours ago

If you have a community center nearby, you can see if they have gym equipment. Those memberships should be simple to get and cancel.

[–] Banana@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

So I guess the trick is, and has always been, consistency?

[–] Carnelian@lemmy.world 4 points 3 hours ago

Honestly I would say consistency is somewhat overrated in the grand scheme of things

ALERT. ALERT. OVERRATED DOES NOT MEAN BAD

Consistency is obviously extremely good. I used to preach it. But honestly, I took on a client with severe intermittent health issues which results in them having about 50% adherence (meaning they miss, on average, about half their training sessions)

And they ended up progressing just fine lol

Actually I feel like a far bigger risk is for people to assume they need to have perfect consistency, then drop training altogether when they aren’t able to meet that high standard.

The critical thing to understand is that resistance training is EXTREMELY potent for beginners. Even inconsistent effort will do pretty amazing things for your health

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[–] Someonelol@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

I can't imagine 40 hours a week of endurance training being anything but detrimental to one's health. The pain of stacked up micro injuries would be unbearable.

Lots of pro runners run over 100 miles a week, once you're there it's not so bad. Cyclists will do even more, bike packers get excited by the idea. As a kid I went to canoe camp and we would paddle for 40 hours a week sometime. Not sure if I should include through hiking.

[–] codexarcanum@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Wear a nice wrist watch. Not a smart watch, something classy. I have one as a gift and I get compliments from other (arguably straight) men all the time. I have never had a woman mention it (I have had women compliment my shoes, shirts, glasses, etc, so this isn't a " zero sample size" issue either.)

[–] bravesirrbn@lemmy.world 9 points 4 hours ago (2 children)

What kind of shoes, shirts, glasses etc. do you wear? Asking for a friend

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 4 hours ago

Crocs, tweed, wraparound bifocals.

[–] codexarcanum@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 2 hours ago

Well I think the suggestion made for crocs and wraparounds would work if you wore them confidently! But honestly, if you wear it comfortably and confidently almost anything can look good.

The glasses are frameless, blue-tinted lenses from Zenni. I think they catch people's eye for being pretty different from most glasses.

Shirts... Well it brings to mind the ITYSL skit but really: bold patterned button downs. They need to fit well: good length (to your waist or lower) and should drape on you, not cling.

Shoes: nice clean shoes, must color match your outfit, must be good looking but distinct. Sneakers and converses don't cut it, needs to be something that adds to the outfit.

[–] blarghly@lemmy.world 13 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

Lol. I love this joke.

But also, I feel the need (a crime in the shitposting community, I know) to point out that, in fact, most women find muscles on men attractive, and if you are a man trying to attract women, while getting jacked isnt the end-all-be-all, you could certainly have a worse strategy. If you don't believe me.... well, go bench 225 and cut down to abs and get back to me.

If you are benching 225 and have abs already, then the problem is much simpler. The reality is, the modal woman interested in men finds stereotypically masculine things hot - being jacked, riding motorcycles, being able to fight, making lots of money, being good at sports, being a leader, etc. But all of these things are sort of like making upgrades to your car - you can do an engine swap, upgrade the suspension, replace the exhaust, add a spoiler, and put flame decals on the wheels. But your car isnt going to go anywhere if you don't take your key and put it in the ignition. Similarly, being really hot and attractive in a bunch of different ways isn't going to get you laid if you can't meet a new woman and ask if she wants to bone without being weird about it.

Which - funny enough - is illustrated in this very comic. Gym bro hits the gym, walks out expecting girls to fall all over him, and gets no response because he doesn't talk to them.

[–] Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca 44 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Now you just need a Harley and you will never see a woman again.

[–] blarghly@lemmy.world 15 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Lol. Got moto as a chick magnet. Instead it just attracts middle aged men.

[–] Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca 6 points 4 hours ago (1 children)
[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 1 points 51 minutes ago

And helmets

[–] Angryhumanoid@fedinsfw.app 32 points 6 hours ago

Yeah, that's why I NEVER work out, so I won't get distracted by other dudes when I'm trying to attract ladies! Wait, I think I see a flaw in my logic....

[–] wingnut@lemmy.zip 9 points 4 hours ago

I think its good he moved on from his expectations and enjoyed the attention he got 🙂

[–] gray@lemmy.ml 6 points 4 hours ago

You'd think this would work out if you're gay. But no, you just get lots of attention from straight guys...

[–] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 21 points 6 hours ago (2 children)

This also works with Beard Bros. You'll have all the men giving you compliments and women asking you to shave it.

[–] Banana@sh.itjust.works 7 points 3 hours ago

See what you gotta do if you want ladies is grow a mustache. Ladies looooove a stache.

Source: am lady. Love stache.

[–] IAMgROOT@lemmy.wtf 17 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago) (1 children)

do not let this stop you from growing a giant white beard that reaches your knees

[–] sorrybookbroke@sh.itjust.works 14 points 5 hours ago

The beard is for me, not them

[–] ceenote@lemmy.world 8 points 5 hours ago

Well, having friends is a green flag for dating.

[–] happy_wheels@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 6 hours ago

So wholesome. 10/10 would spot all those Bros.

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