My understanding of this problem is that there's still a very strong cultural impetus that males aren't allowed to have/share their feelings. In a way, even "go to therapy" is dismissive, in that the ppl saying it (often those that care about them most) don't want to be bothered to address their feelings, or the precursor(s) to the depression, directly. Acknowledgement is definitely a step in the right direction, but I think there's a ways to go. Just my $0.02
spankinspinach
joined 2 years ago
Haha sorry in advance for a long response, I love psychology and am a strong male mental health advocate :) TL;DR: I don't have the answers, its getting better societally but that doesn't solve it at an individual level, I believe loneliness and being heard are major contributing factors.
I'm hard pressed to give you a good answer on that. I think it's more socially acceptable for men to have feelings, but maybe it's hard for the crop of men 30+ to understand that due to their upbringing, and seek help (it's getting much better for Gen Z, I understand). So maybe the options are there, but the "man up" mindset persists?
There may also be an individual element to it - the willingness to learn about our own feelings after decades of "man up" can be perplexing at best (I've been blessed with some wonderful women in my life and it is still in my blindspot all the time). I understand there are also many women that expect their men to "man up", not to say that's the norm though.
I don't have a good answer for you on the last point either. I think go to therapy is great, but i find that being male and our problems can be wildly isolating and lonely experiences - being told to go to therapy is kind of "take your feelings over there". At the same time, until men are able to build healthier communication with their loved ones, I think it won't be solved (which is where therapy does help).