this post was submitted on 08 Mar 2026
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Aside from a lot of guys being thickheaded and not seeing it, there's also selection bias.
A) A girl has a crush on a guy. He notices but plays it safe. Maybe she's just friendly. Result: no harm done except perpetuating the myth that guys don't notice.
B) A girl is just friendly but the guy thinks he's being crushed on and acts on it. Now he's forever labeled as a creep.
The only safe play as a guy is always, always assuming she's just being friendly. Unless she comes right out and says she wants to hump your bones, just assume she's being nice to you.
Quadruple the caution if it's a coworker. Hello HR violation.
To quote Amos Burton, "I don't shit where I eat"
Don't, "butter your bread where you earn it."
if romance is a type of shit to you then i'm sorry for all your relationships
I mean, this is Amos. His experience with romance is probably rather different than yours.
never heard of them
It's a character from the TV show The Expanse.
Thanks for lining it out so well.
There's a good shot that she's into me, but if she's not, I'll either die of embarrassment or I'll get bullied by their whole social circle.
Add to this that men usually are not as socially comfortable as women, and you kinda understand it why this happens.
This happens to women too. The embarrasement is real and the societal pressure to not be seen as a slut is everpresent. Playing it safe is a popular strategy no matter the gender.
It's 2026. Are people still that puritanical that they care about somebody else's sexual activity?
The places I've lived in the last 15 years have been extremely sex positive, which was a slight shift in mindsets from where I grew up, which was slowly coming this way.
Is there a sudden resurgence in this behavior? Is it part of the man-o-sphere bullshit?
Yes. Many people devote their entire personalities towards policing other people's sex lives. Just look at the hatred towards LGBTQ people that continues to go on and on. It never went away, it just got pushed back, often to largely rural areas. Look at the transphobia of the past 15 or so years. That's all based in the same nonsense.
Even amongst the LGBTQ community, you have the recent "kink at Pride" drama, but there are also decades old issues like gay men using the same homophobia used on them by straight guys against bi men - or saying that they're not part of the community if they're dating a woman.
yes. most people are incredibly puritanical. including 'sex positive' people. most self-proclaimed 'sex positive' people i knew are the ones who judged people the most for their sexual habits. anytime i have hung out with sex positive people i have been shamed by them for being a slut, or being a prude. i'm a man and i've had women reject me for my partner count many times for being too much or too little.
it's not a resurgence, it's always been there. it will always be there. people don't like people who are different than them. it makes feel feel bad and insecure and they blame you for it rather than question their own feelings.
Is it TMI for them to even be asking that?! Unless you mean a few dates in or something maybe
No, it's just your typical double standard shit. If I asked the that, I'd be an asshole sexist pig. If they asked me that, they are just trying to figure out if I am a womanizer or 'inexperienced'. When they do it it's a 'good thing', when I do it, it's 'bad'.
And nobody is ever happy with the answer unless your number is basically the same as theirs. If your number is significantly different, than you are 'judging them'. Because what they are really asking, on a deeper level, is you to validate them and their life choices.
It's not any different with money either. You have to answer them with the number in their head they have pre-determined is 'correct' or you are not worthy of them, or you are going to steal/abuse them. This is regardless of their own financial status. I make a great salary and am happy with money. But I meet women who think I am going to to steal their money and force them to pay all my bills if I make like 10K less than they do, which is a trivial amount to both of us. But this 'fear' is almost always a projection of her desire to be the person who steals the money and has their bills paid for them, or some deep belief that any man who can't pay her bills for her is not a 'real man'. I meet so many women I am at the same financial level as who tell me I am too poor to date them... it's just hilarious to me at this point. They basically have to come up with a conspiracy theory to justify their greed that a man must make 2-3x their income to be 'good'. And in my dating bracket, that means a guy has to make like 500K salary, which is a top .5% salary. Hence the refrain 'there are no good men'. All the men who are moderate successful making 100-200K are 'losers' who are just going to financial use and abuse her, or something.
Oh yeah most definitely.
I just wrote this because these memes are rampant and funny, but they do make light of a bad circumstance on our society. And that trope usually targets men, so here's some context.
She's Canadian.
https://youtu.be/xa-4IAR_9Yw
It’s always good to play it safe unless evidence is so overwhelming that she’s into you. This has cost me some romantic opportunities but has also kept me from being the guy who dates all his female friends.
Pascal's Wager but for pussy