this post was submitted on 19 Mar 2026
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If you knew I'm a woman would you have called me "bud" and anything like a "lad?"
Maybe? I didn't mean any offense, buddies are any gender for me and anyone can be like my kid, who happens to be a lad. At least until I'm notified to the contrary...
This is kind of a weird hill to die on, ngl.
People are allowed to be particular about pronouns. I just tagged that account she/her, it's not a hill unless we make it one. Helps if they do that themselves, but I can hardly criticise.
Not so much a criticism as trying to point out that you weren't being malicious in your comment.
I know it sounds weird for me to complain every time someone assumes I'm a man, but if you're a man, how would you feel if everyone on the internet automatically assumed you're a woman? Calling you she & her & ma'am & sweetheart & lady. That would feel pretty weird, wouldn't it?
That's how I feel when people call me dude, bro, bud, lad, etc 🤷🏼♀️
I'm a woman to start.
Your username gives no indication that you're a woman and this site is overwhelmingly male. I'm never surprised when someone guesses I'm a man when we're conversing initially. It's not like the greatest thing in the world, but most people here are not misgendering me on purpose.
He didn't call you a "lad", he said you might have ADHD like his lad aka his son.
Bud feels like a pretty gender neutral term compared to dude, man, brother, etc.
I didn't think either of us were particularly bent out of shape about it, pretty minor misunderstanding. I feel like we can all walk away friends unless we try to litigate this? I dunno
On a scale of 0 to 10 of how upset I am about this, it's a zero. It's just that in real life I am unmistakably woman with a light soft voice and long curly hair and I wear pink dresses and it's really weird for me on the internet when people call me bud and bro and dude.
Again I cannot emphasize enough how weird it feels, just like it would feel weird for a man to be called lady and sweetie pie and honey and she and her 🤷🏼♀️
and it did not occur to me to make a username to emphasize my gender, I made this username in a wild frenzy haste and gave it no thought whatsoever, but I do recall one time I did have a username that emphasized my femininity, and receiving a lot of uncalled for harassment from that. It's ridiculous. It's just my comfort zone relaxing on places like Lemmy after I'm exhausted from my daily life, I just want to hang out here and relax. And not be called a dude every time 😂
Oh same, same. I've seen plenty of instances of hostile sexism on this site and your reply was decidedly not hostile, so I was a little surprised at the push back. That's all.