this post was submitted on 20 Apr 2026
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Programmer Humor

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[–] the_riviera_kid@lemmy.world 17 points 3 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (7 children)

This is me, nothing in my house needs automation for any reason. There is especially no need for internet connectivity. The closest to automation I have ever had is the timers that turn the lights on or off on my fishtanks.

[–] musubibreakfast@lemmy.world 23 points 3 days ago (4 children)

I hacked this guy's fish tanks, I reprogrammed the lights and I'm currently training his fish through EMDR to memorize all his passwords. In about six months time I'll break into his house, interrogate his fish and clean out all his bank accounts.

Why don't you just get a realistic water pistol, paint it black and interrogate him directly? Put a chunk of depleted uranium in the end of the barrel so you can pistol whip him and it will be realistic and he will shit pants, which you can turn into dirt in the crafting screen.

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