this post was submitted on 02 May 2026
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Real quick.
Just imagine you order a plate of pasta. You're only two bites in, and it's DELICIOUS.
Then here comes chef. While making full eye contact, he tips your plate and dumps all of that pasta in the trash.
Chef proceeds to take a giant wet shit onto the plate. He brings a new set of silverware and a fresh napkin right before your server comes back with the check.
You insist that you didn't order a giant wet shit, but they won't take it off the bill.
Let's stop pretending this is an inevitable oopsie. This shit is egregious.
Daddy Googs won't be happy until it's a walled garden just like iOS
"Fascist oligarchy of capitalist dictators continue to implement totalitarian surveillance apparatus. Majority of talking chimps sleepwalking into dystopia."
Don't overstretch my analogy like that. How about this:
Google has standardized The Restaurant. The kitchens all have the same tools and ingredients and are open to anyone. Seating and billing is standardized, and you can easily order and pay at your table, and the food is delivered straight to you via pneumatic tubes and nicely packaged. The food might be expensive or cheap, tasty or revolting, but the experience is always the same.
There are a lot of hobby cooks that like to cook in the Google restaurants. If you want to eat their food, you might have to pick it up straight at the kitchen, or nicely ask the hobby waiters. The cooks have been there for years and whipping up nice creations - mostly for free, beacause the ingredients and tools were free, and they really like to cook. Because the food is so good, some people tip the cooks or waiters directly.
Now Google introduced a new rule: everyone has to use their billing and pneumatic delivery system, citing improved food safety. The hobby cooks and waiters are infuriated, and even some of their customers, and they demand that everyone can still come to the kitchen or the waiters. But Google just says: look, my restaurant, my rules. If you don't like it go make your own.
Except that google's "standardized, "packaged" food is just as unsafe or even less safe than the hobby cooks', and they're only using "food safety" as a pretense to capture the market and hold clientele hostage.
And this change has also been preceded by buying out every other restaurant chain in town, except for the "Apple Restaurants," which are already a walled garden, which Google is now trying to emulate even though most of its user base came to it specifically to avoid Apple's business model.
And there are a few other smaller chains based on Google's standards, but they're considered niche and don't all support every feature ("sorry, no ATMS"). Also, since most of their equipment comes from Google, Google likely has a killswitch and can cut off their stoves and refrigerators at any time.
It's clearly an anti-trust issue, but since Apple has already set the precedent and the US is pro-corporation and anti-consumer, everyone is kinda just screwed.
The point is that Google's head chef can come out and shit on your plate, and if you don't like it then it sucks to suck because there aren't really any viable alternatives.