this post was submitted on 06 May 2026
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The fisherman had a large family who loved him. His fishing only took an hour or two per day, so he had a lot of time left over. When he could, he loved to play with his kids, take naps with his wife, and play guitar with his friends. But, he was also available when needed for other things. If someone needed help moving, he could help. If they needed to go somewhere, he could take them in his boat. If another family in the village was going through a rough time he could stay out a bit longer, catch a few more fish, and provide for them too.
Then, one day he became ill, and treatment was expensive. He was so loved in the village that everyone took up a collection to help him. They also saved money on his bills by doing as much as they could for him. Instead of having nurses feed him and bathe him, his family and friends did that for him. Since he lived in Mexico and not the USA, his medical costs were not obscene, and he was able to pay for them all, just owing a few loans to other people in the village.
For a while, he spent a bit longer out on the boat, catching a bit more fish to sell to pay off his loans. He also took the son of one of his friends out and taught him the trade, and for that, his friend wrote off that loan. A short time later his loans were all paid off and he went back to the nice, easy fishing lifestyle.
The retired banker had no friends. He had no family. His first and second wives had divorced him because he spent all his time at the office. His kids no longer talked to him, they knew him as that man who always promised he'd come to their soccer cup finals and violin recitals, but never made it. His 22 year old sugar baby had ditched him as soon as he got the diagnosis. He did some research and decided that the best doctors in the world for his condition were in Dubai, so he arranged a private jet to Dubai, rented an apartment for a few months, and hired round-the-clock nurses to take care of him, and a personal chef to cook whatever he needed. The doctor in Dubai was the best, but he was no fool. He quoted a very high price for his services, and then when the banker was in the pre-op room, he came in, announced he was ready to go, but that there were a few other costs he forgot to mention, and he was terribly sorry but the total price was actually triple the original quote. But, if the banker wanted to back out, there was still time. The banker grumbled, but assented, silently appreciating the doctor's hustle.
While he was under anaesthesia, his rivals struck. He'd made plenty of enemies over the years, and so when word was out that he was going under the knife, they planned their revenge. The banker was too proud to be fully retired. He still actively managed most of his money, and had a lot of it tied up in leveraged bets. His rivals jumped on them, spreading rumours on social media and calling up financial news outlets. If the banker had been conscious and online, he could have responded to the attack, but as it was, his positions were crushed ruthlessly.
When he came around after his operation, he checked his phone to see hundreds of urgent messages. He started scrambling to catch what he could. But, in the meantime, his latest payment for his nurses hadn't gone through, so they walked out. Once he stopped the bleeding (money bleeding, not blood), he'd be able to hire some new ones, but that couldn't be his priority yet. He had only hours left to fix his financial health, if he didn't, then his own health didn't matter.
And then Trump bombed Iran.
fam, you had the perfect opportunity to end with the pro wrestling match with the folding table and Hell in a Cell... BUT WITH MEXICAN WRESTLERS