this post was submitted on 01 Jul 2026
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What if like Jonah he survives?
Jonah repented.
He got lucky his was a krill whale not a killer whale.
I guess we could try starting with krill whales on some of the less-evil billionaires.
With Bezos I think we should follow Amazon policies and use the fastest method, regardless of if he gets hurt or killed.
Orca Express.
They've already been eating our trash for generations throughout the entire hydrosphere, and now we're proposing hand-feeding it to them? Poor orcas. 🥲
Instead, I say we keep it in-house and compost our own garbage —after removing all the microplastics, silicone, pharmaceuticals, sociopathy, etc., of course, to keep from tainting the crops.
Perhaps a gourmet selection of choice morsels offered in genuine apology might help smooth future human generations' relations with our aquatic neighbors. (Assuming that effort doesn't rely on "AI" to translate.) 😉