this post was submitted on 23 Jul 2026
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Look, a thousand or so years before that, god had realized that even if he personally impregnated some dark little middle eastern girl without her consent, the best he could hope for was a light skinned son with brown hair. It was so disappointing that he didn't even notice when they tortured the boy to death. Heck, when the little fucker showed up all unexpected at gods front door, god was so surprised that he accidentally drove his soul back into the corpse and reanimated it. What a mess that was! That little brown haired zombie bastard running around scaring the hell out of people... lol.
Anyway, fast forward a thousand years and god had realized that if he wanted to reset the color palette on the human race, he was going to go west a skosh and start with something a little lighter. That worked out pretty well at first but eventually turned into its own complete mess.