this post was submitted on 29 Jul 2026
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[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 2 points 2 days ago

It seems like you're assuming I have a retributive approach to justice, and I think that's where this disagreement is coming from. I don't though. I don't think bullies should be punished just for the sake of punishing them. That wouldn't be effective.

Sure, the focus should be on making the victim whole and making the bully stop being a bully. The first part of that I think is beyond the scope of this discussion. I assume we would agree that it would take some research-based approach likely involving counseling and social support. But I'm not here to hash out those details because it's not my expertise.

As far as making the bullying stop bullying though, that requires either extrinsic interventions, which would be reactive and circumstantial at best, or giving the bully an intrinsic motivation to stop bullying. Most people are motivated by the desire to be a good person and treat others with kindness. Those people aren't bullies in the first place. Bullies don't have that motive.

So what could motivate a bully to stop bullying? Well, you wouldn't bribe them with nice rewards for good behavior. That would be unfair to people who were never bullies in the first place, and to the bully's victims.

Psychologically speaking, extrinsic motivators fall into two broad categories: rewards and punishments.

So how is that not bringing us full circle? Because the punishment here isn't strictly retributive. The point isn't to get back at them because "fair's fair." The point is to force them to stop bullying by making it more painful to them to continue bullying than they find worth the intrinsic reward they feel from bullying.

Maybe it sounds crass to say we need to cognitively/behaviorally condition bullies to stop bullying, but what else can you do besides asking them nicely to stop? What do you do when they refuse?