this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2026
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My nephew is in exactly this position. My sister and her husband make plenty of money, they felt emotionally attached, he's diagnosed as ADHD, so he gets a pass on some things. He's 32.
I know millennials hate that older people criticize them and I get it, but every millennial I know is in exactly this position and I don't understand how anyone can hold his head high knowing he essentially can't take care of himself.
On the other hand, I grew up in a different time. I graduated with $9k of debt, not $100k. I devoted decades of my life working to make someone else rich. So who's smarter, me or my nephew?
I mean, if they're ok with him living there, who am I to judge? My only real complaint is that he feels entitled to things he hasn't earned. My sister plays disc golf with me. He played with us briefly. He won't let her use "his" discs. The discs she paid for. He demands to sit in the front seat of the car sometimes, not request it. I'm sorry, but if Mom says she wants the front seat, Mom gets the fucking front seat. Not sure if this is generational or just him. But as a genX, I try to be understanding, because I see how the country has gone, but it can be tough sometimes, because from my perspective, he's getting a 100% free ride and should be friggin grateful.
does he legit have that debt? or are you just generalizing? most people don't have 100K of debt... some people do and those folks aren't smart people and their bad choice making tends to compound their situation over time. I have known folks with the 100K of debt... and trust me those people knew what they were doing, they just refused to pay down their debt...
I had 35K of debt, and paid $15K of it off in two years on a 30K job, because I made it a priority and I didn't want to be poor forever.
A lot of bad parents enable their children's bad choices and they have to live with the consequences. His parents taught him to be entitled and rude probably because they did not practice discipline or punishment for poor actions. But you're right it's none of your business really. You can't fix anyone else's bad choices. It's not his generation, it's just him and how he was raised.
No. He has no debt. I meant that as a general statement about how things were more affordable for me than for millennials. It was easier for me to forge out on my own than it is for today's youth. I've just heard of people graduating with $100k. It really makes you switch your thinking. Before, I would have expected any child of mine to go to college. Now I would understand if he or she didn't want to. I have no children, so I dodged that bullet. LOL.