this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2026
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[–] Zeppo@sh.itjust.works 205 points 2 days ago (20 children)

having sex (perhaps just once?) doesn't equal not lonely, though.

[–] Apytele@sh.itjust.works 49 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (9 children)

In fact sex being used as the indicator is actually a clue to one of the largest contributors. There's a very wide reaching assumption that men should get most of their emotional support from their female partner. This is often very stressful to the female partner and is a fragile way to meet a basic need; if she gets sick or dies he's probably not far behind her. Men need to learn how to compliment and hug each other platonically. It's 2026 and it's for their own good ffs. I keep giving my male patients brochures for men's support groups and I really hope at least some of them are actually going.

[–] Daywim@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago (5 children)

It seems so surreal to me that other men don’t hug each other, or tell their friends that they love them

[–] Zeppo@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 hours ago

many men do have emotional support from friends and comradierie though. Oddly, the more macho and often homophobic they are, the more gay it seems.

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago)

because that's gay.

but for real, for every person that says men need to talk about their feelings and hug it out... you realize that there are 10 other people who would regard you as being gay/not a man for doing that, right? and that includes men and women.

real world is more complex than internet nerds want to believe.

[–] kshade@lemmy.world 19 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Furry here, we do that stuff. It's pretty good, can recommend.

Also men used to do that a lot more, before the world wars.

[–] Forester@pawb.social 8 points 2 days ago

We do it a lot more but it does exist in other places just less hug centric more a hand on a shoulder. Normally social groups and clubs. it requires older men that are not entirely Jaded to set the example. Unfortunately those guys mostly have passed at this point and most boomers don't have the cognitive bandwidth.

[–] exasperation@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Sometimes I lightly punch my friends in the balls to thank them for being vulnerable around me.

[–] Zeppo@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 hours ago

sometimes I rub their butts and tongue their balls to remind them that someone cares.

As a men with almost a bromance with his best friend... Frrrrrr.

Like, let's not even go as far as a hug (for many it's simply uncomfortable, whether it's with a man or a woman; I only hug my mother and my sister, for example xd), but there are other forms of intimacy and emotional support that shouldn't be tied to gender.

I mean, words of affirmation, the simple act of crying openly or expressing fears, anxieties, feelings or emotions, or expressing love or affection (platonically, as many mistakenly associate an "I love you" with something exclusive to romantic relationships); even just staying near to each other or hanging out with each other is a huge help.

Romanticism is something overrated and the same goes for sex, and I say this as someone who is alloromantic and allosexual.

And of course, they're for sure a genuine and legitimate, and overall valid way of social and emotional interaction and intimacy, but not the only one or the best one for everyone.

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