this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2026
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having sex (perhaps just once?) doesn't equal not lonely, though.
In fact sex being used as the indicator is actually a clue to one of the largest contributors. There's a very wide reaching assumption that men should get most of their emotional support from their female partner. This is often very stressful to the female partner and is a fragile way to meet a basic need; if she gets sick or dies he's probably not far behind her. Men need to learn how to compliment and hug each other platonically. It's 2026 and it's for their own good ffs. I keep giving my male patients brochures for men's support groups and I really hope at least some of them are actually going.
It seems so surreal to me that other men don’t hug each other, or tell their friends that they love them
Furry here, we do that stuff. It's pretty good, can recommend.
Also men used to do that a lot more, before the world wars.
We do it a lot more but it does exist in other places just less hug centric more a hand on a shoulder. Normally social groups and clubs. it requires older men that are not entirely Jaded to set the example. Unfortunately those guys mostly have passed at this point and most boomers don't have the cognitive bandwidth.
Sometimes I lightly punch my friends in the balls to thank them for being vulnerable around me.
As a men with almost a bromance with his best friend... Frrrrrr.
Like, let's not even go as far as a hug (for many it's simply uncomfortable, whether it's with a man or a woman; I only hug my mother and my sister, for example xd), but there are other forms of intimacy and emotional support that shouldn't be tied to gender.
I mean, words of affirmation, the simple act of crying openly or expressing fears, anxieties, feelings or emotions, or expressing love or affection (platonically, as many mistakenly associate an "I love you" with something exclusive to romantic relationships); even just staying near to each other or hanging out with each other is a huge help.
Romanticism is something overrated and the same goes for sex, and I say this as someone who is alloromantic and allosexual.
And of course, they're for sure a genuine and legitimate, and overall valid way of social and emotional interaction and intimacy, but not the only one or the best one for everyone.
No, I'm pretty sure that every man who has had sex at least once in their life turned out to be a top bloke
Or bottom bloke
But can't top blokes be lonely?
They say it's lonely at the top, bloke.
So.. more men as bottoms?
Having a ton of sex doesn't equal not lonely either.
Like Barney from HIMYM, or Charlie Sheen in 2.5 men.