this post was submitted on 16 Sep 2026
636 points (99.4% liked)

196

6852 readers
2618 users here now

Community Rules

You must post before you leave

Be nice. Assume others have good intent (within reason).

Block or ignore posts, comments, and users that irritate you in some way rather than engaging. Report if they are actually breaking community rules.

Use content warnings and/or mark as NSFW when appropriate. Most posts with content warnings likely need to be marked NSFW.

Most 196 posts are memes, shitposts, cute images, or even just recent things that happened, etc. There is no real theme, but try to avoid posts that are very inflammatory, offensive, very low quality, or very "off topic".

Bigotry is not allowed, this includes (but is not limited to): Homophobia, Transphobia, Racism, Sexism, Abelism, Classism, or discrimination based on things like Ethnicity, Nationality, Language, or Religion.

Avoid shilling for corporations, posting advertisements, or promoting exploitation of workers.

Proselytization, support, or defense of authoritarianism is not welcome. This includes but is not limited to: imperialism, nationalism, genocide denial, ethnic or racial supremacy, fascism, Nazism, Marxism-Leninism, Maoism, etc.

Avoid AI generated content.

Avoid misinformation.

Avoid incomprehensible posts.

No threats or personal attacks.

No spam.

Moderator Guidelines

Moderator Guidelines

  • Don’t be mean to users. Be gentle or neutral.
  • Most moderator actions which have a modlog message should include your username.
  • When in doubt about whether or not a user is problematic, send them a DM.
  • Don’t waste time debating/arguing with problematic users.
  • Assume the best, but don’t tolerate sealioning/just asking questions/concern trolling.
  • Ask another mod to take over cases you struggle with, if you get tired, or when things get personal.
  • Ask the other mods for advice when things get complicated.
  • Share everything you do in the mod matrix, both so several mods aren't unknowingly handling the same issues, but also so you can receive feedback on what you intend to do.
  • Don't rush mod actions. If a case doesn't need to be handled right away, consider taking a short break before getting to it. This is to say, cool down and make room for feedback.
  • Don’t perform too much moderation in the comments, except if you want a verdict to be public or to ask people to dial a convo down/stop. Single comment warnings are okay.
  • Send users concise DMs about verdicts about them, such as bans etc, except in cases where it is clear we don’t want them at all, such as obvious transphobes. No need to notify someone they haven’t been banned of course.
  • Explain to a user why their behavior is problematic and how it is distressing others rather than engage with whatever they are saying. Ask them to avoid this in the future and send them packing if they do not comply.
  • First warn users, then temp ban them, then finally perma ban them when they break the rules or act inappropriately. Skip steps if necessary.
  • Use neutral statements like “this statement can be considered transphobic” rather than “you are being transphobic”.
  • No large decisions or actions without community input (polls or meta posts f.ex.).
  • Large internal decisions (such as ousting a mod) might require a vote, needing more than 50% of the votes to pass. Also consider asking the community for feedback.
  • Remember you are a voluntary moderator. You don’t get paid. Take a break when you need one. Perhaps ask another moderator to step in if necessary.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 14 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago) (4 children)

That makes me hesitant to ever identify as bisexual though and honestly that makes me really sad. I've become quite attached to bisexuality as a part of my identity and adhere to the definition @TwiddleTwaddle@lemmy.blahaj.zone used here:

the bi part of bisexual refers to both homosexual (same gender) and heterosexual (different gender) so nobody’s left out. I guess an argument could be made that an agender person might not fit under either umbrella, but i would still consider agender to be either same gender (if the bisexual person is also agender) or different gender (if the bisexual person is not agender).

I would just hate to signal to anyone not cis that I'm rejecting them based on my own identity.

Edit: Ugh you? Yeah I'm not going to go with your definition of anything with comments like these in your history

I like interacting with butch (not sure if that term is still in vogue, havent had the courage to ask) lesbians, they're never as bitter as the fems.

[–] queerlilhayseed@piefed.blahaj.zone 9 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

I think that distinction just grew up with the current trend of trans-exclusion. I identify as bi and my bi club is explicitly inclusive of trans and NB folk. The transphobes will have to pry the ol' pink and blue from my cold dead sexy bisexual hands.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 6 points 14 hours ago

The transphobes will have to pry the ol’ pink and blue from my cold dead sexy bisexual hands.

Hell yeah!

[–] egrets@lemmy.world 13 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago) (1 children)

All of this is just retroactive attempts to delineate the two labels after the concept of being transgender started to become understood by a wider portion of the public (and the queer community, for that matter). Don't let faux-academic definitions define your identity. If "bisexual" feels like it fits but gender-nonconforming, agender, androgynous-presenting, and/or genderfluid people are also your thing, that's entirely fine.

(Edit: and it doesn't in any way invalidate other people's self-labeling when they categorize it differently to you. Labels are only there to simplify communication of ideas. They're not a sports team.)

[–] TheEntity@lemmy.world 8 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

I would just hate to signal to anyone not cis that I’m rejecting them based on my own identity.

That would imply being anything other than pansexual is wrong and discriminatory, period.

It's worth stressing that it's perfectly fine to reject someone as a potential partner for any reason or even for no reason at all. For example if you find white women more attractive than black women, I don't think it makes you racist if that's just about attraction, not respect.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 6 points 16 hours ago

I would hate to signal it because I am personally attracted to cis and trans people, but still like to identify as bisexual. That's all :)

[–] Redditmodstouchgrass@lemmy.zip -3 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Yeah, you're definitely not proving me wrong on that.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 7 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

You have no idea if I'm butch or fem.

[–] Redditmodstouchgrass@lemmy.zip -5 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago) (2 children)

You mean like how you have no idea if I'm a man or a woman? Funny how it's one set of rules for you and another for me.

Edit: To clarify, this isn't a "You can't define what a woman is" thing, it's a "this user loves to make assumptions about me and is mad when I do the same" thing.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 8 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

It's bigoted as fuck to assert that all butch lesbians are cool and all fem lesbians are bitter.

[–] Redditmodstouchgrass@lemmy.zip -3 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago) (1 children)

I never said that. I said all the ones I encountered have been that way. There's probably loads of fem lesbians that are cool, that don't make their issues (or lack thereof) my problem. I've probably talked to a few that didn't even feel the need to bring up their sexuality.

Edit: As always, you're jumping the gun and assuming my beliefs and positions so you have a punching bag.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 6 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Assuming that I'm fem because you don't get along with me is a bigoted way of thinking.

[–] N0tTr0xy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

who assumed that you are a man?