this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2026
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Dude, my favorite is 2Kings 2:23:24
"Then he went up from there to Bethel; and as he was going up by the way, young lads came out from the city and mocked him and said to him, 'Go up, you baldhead; go up, you baldhead!' When he looked behind him and saw them, he cursed them in the name of the LORD. Then two female bears came out of the woods and tore up forty-two lads of their number."
God kills 42 kids for calling someone bald LOL
That verse is funny as fuck, definitely up there with some of the best. Along with killing all of the pigs being raised for food in a village, because they were all apparently possessed by an army of demons
It's less violent, but Jesus killing a fig tree because it wasn't fig season is also really funny.
"Killing?" Even when mocking an opponent, at least be accurate; the demons possessed the pigs who then rushed into water and drowned themselves: https://biblehub.com/mark/5-13.htm
Then the villagers pleaded with Jesus to leave due to having wrecked their economy. Whether Jesus did it because He's Jewish/anti-pork or that just happened to be what the demons weirdly chose to do (or if it, uh, happened at all, of course), we may never know... But that is how the account goes, regardless.
According to Jesus, He should have known the demons would possess the pigs. He's God.
AT LEAST BE ACCURATE
I analyzed this verse as part of my Bible 101 course in college. The NIV analysis (preferred by biblical scholars) is that Jesus drove the pigs to their death as a continuation of the Mesopotamian tradition of religious warriors
Sure, but I was just calling out the wording. The pigs were not killed by anything other than the demons' actions (and yes, we know He sent them, or allowed them to be sent, in them).