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Distro kind of matters.
Its a server, stability is the top priority. I'd avoid Ubuntu personally, and recommend Debian and Debian variants. For your first server (and your 4th+), I'd suggest proxmox. Its Debian with virtualization and a web interface, making it easy to manage services.
I'd also mention that you do not want a DE for your server. Its a lot of overhead for no real benefit, instead you should think of it as a headless machine you can remotely access - which is also what will make proxmox handy for you.
Intel wins in transcoding in most scenarios, so an intel-based system with an iGPU is a solid target. Full transcoding of AV1 starts with 14th gen, but that includes to AV1. For decode of AV1 for transcoding, 11th+. For anything else, 7th+.
With ram you can do more with more, but leveraging virt will make the load a lot lighter. Ive got systems with 32GB, but they are also hosting whole ass VMs and not just lxc's.
If I'm running Ubuntu server can I backup my docker files and will Debian find my mdam raid without issue?
For mdadm, it stores the metadata on the drives themselves. As long as your os is separate, yes, it should be just fine and detect automatically. After install it should just be a mdadm --assemble --scan and off to the races.
That said, I will always recommend backups. You never know what will happen.
In terms of docker, yes you can back things up and move them over. That said I recommend having your docker contents that need to be persistent as part of a mount somewhere, so that instead of needing to copy them around, you just have a compose that points to a mount.
Makes backups easier too.
Yeah, I'm thinking of getting a sata ssd and putting it in one of the hot swap bays as I have 6/8 filled with 14tb HDDs is raid 6. Then putting all the docker stuff there so it's not on the boot nvme.
A solid call either way, easier to manage and safer imo
Yup, proxmox is great.
Note that you can't (or rather, shouldn't) run docker containers on proxmox. Most people run a vm and then docker inside that. And yes, I use Debian for it
You can give proxmox a docker container reference, but it'll download and convert it to LXC, which means you can't update the container. You'd have to update the container's os and the app manually, or redeploy the container and reattach the storage.