this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2025
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The crazy girls being better at sex thing always confused me. I vaguely understand that correlation but like… it holds so true. What is it about bpd that makes you bang so good?
From personsl experience: it's not worth it.
Swap pronouns were applicable.
You'll be so exhausted from her meltdowns, manipulation, and the constant repairs (literal and figurative) from her poor life choices that you won't have the time or energy for sex. Then she'll cheat on you with your gross scumbag neighbor who was old enough to be her father because she jumped to the conclusion that you did't want her anymore and she wanted revenge.
She'll then proceed to run off with one your friends. But not before explaining how it's probably just temporary and the relationship will be stronger than ever when she comes back. So stay single. Oh, can you keep her cat for now? He doesn't have room in his parent's apartment that she's moving into the day after fucking him for the first time.
My early 20s were trash. She ended up completing suicide a week before my wedding in 2012. Myself, I was so fucked up by that relationship I now live with chronic anhedonia and alexithymia. It literally broke my brain.
skill issue
Less inhibitions.
The good times are especially good and the bad times are especially bad, currently dating one and confused a lot of the time
Sometimes she's a "pick any hole" kind of girl with fictional tier blowjobs every morning but the flipside is I'm sometimes the worst person in the world because I said something triggering I don't learn about until days later that isn't even triggering to a normal person
I'm really sensitive like an empath so I've been losing sleep over whether to run or if her gushing love for me part time is worth the struggle, and also it's stressful thinking I already locked in and she might do something bad to herself if I leave now
Girl is insanely attractive like beyond my league too for context, I'm 31 and she is 26, with cutting scars all over her body which don't actually scare me but it means it probably will keep happening and there's nothing I can do about it
So far she's self aware and warns me when she's about to get sick again and I think the maturity and honesty is why I haven't ran yet. But even with warning, and her turning on me soon after, is still incredibly confusing for me
Also she sent me this meme
Yes, you should run. It probably doesn't do you any good to tell you this now, as I know how intoxicating those times can be, but you should run. I was in exactly this situation. Also it WILL be hard to find equivalent sex in the future. Just try not to think too much about the fact that you might have now peaked in that regard.
If you get to the point that you want some helpful answers, consider reading Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller. I read it in one night, it was so helpful back in the day. See if maybe it touches any sensitive areas.
It's not just the sex that's the best though. Nobody's ever been this nice to me before just in general. I really don't want to run :(
I'll check that book thx
this is classic abuse victim rationalization.
Just because she treats you less like shit than other people in the past have, doesn't mean she still isn't treating you like shit.
I'm mentally ill too to be clear so it kind of goes both ways here lol. I'm a self destructive type of person so I feel like I almost deserve and even enjoy being treated like shit in some sort of way
I'm raised by narcissists and I'm slowly deprogramming from that and I hate to admit this but I think part of the reason I like her is she is extremely easy to manipulate and it's easy for me to get her to do whatever I want. I don't really intend to manipulate people but it's still something I do sometimes that I really wish I didn't. People with BPD are easily manipulated usually
oh by all means then. treat each other like shit and rationalize it or whatever.
So far it feels like a net win compared to the rest of my shit life and I was single for 1.5 years before this and I couldn't really stand it anymore
No normal girl is going to tolerate me in a long term relationship, they are completely out of my league
Same here. She really, really loved me, in her way, and I love(d) her. Closest I've had yet to something long-term sustainable. But was it tho? She compared me to Jesus and called me a sex god. She drew my penis as art. Touched me constantly. Said I looked and smelled like a French king (it was well-intentioned). Really took an interest in my hobbies--to the point that they became her hobbies and it became a lot. We were really, really close. I ended up having to call the police on her when she finally confessed to the cheating and it ended. She shaved her head and moved to Indonesia. As with the highs, so with the lows.
Dude that is crazy. Are you doing ok now? That would traumatize me for the rest of my life.
What you said is terrifying accurate to my situation, she treats me like some literal god
I don't think she's the type to cheat but you have me questioning that now. I am a lot more concerned she will kill herself rather than cheat tbh but if either of those things happened I'd be a destroyed person
Can't it be kept in check with meds?
It's a trauma disorder so medication is really only fighting the symptoms. It can be healed tho. Not everyone with BPD projects it outwardly either and not all that do are abusive.
https://ani.social/comment/12135224
The flipside is the meds will numb the qualities that make such people so special in the first place
As a gay man, I had some of the best sex with a man that turned out to be a little cray cray. His place was immaculate but he freaked out on me after one hookup. Granted, I did cancel our second date, but no need to get weird about it. Blocked. Never driving around his place again either.
Yeah I dated a girl for 3 years that was amazing sex. Not worth the emotional abuse though.
Also I guess I shouldn’t have prefaced this with just women being like this. I’ve heard the same about men.
was she honest about her issues or did she manipulate you? was she working on it?
She was not honest and was not working on it. I was just hopeful it would magically get better. Because I’m stupid and figured it had to if I just kept working on it and being a good boyfriend. But I know now there wasn’t much I could do.
Bingo. Been there. So much better to be alone. Hard to make any progress in life when you have a partner who is totally unreliable and unsupportive and views everything in life as a threat to themselves.
One explanation for someone who is bipolar. Hypomania can express as hypersexual.
My wife and past girlfriends have experienced this with me and to be honest it's fun for the first hour but having a throbbing boner and inability to satisfy the urge stops being fun for both parties involved. Also makes woman feel horribly inadequate that they can't get a man to cum. Add to it I try to do all sorts of uncomfortable things to us both to just find some release.
I'm sure that the bipolar woman go through what I have gone through it's like eating nonstop and still being hungry even though your stomach is about to burst. You feel like a disgusting slob with every bite but can't put the food down. All you crave is the sloppiest and nastiest food because anything healthy just doesn't get you there. The regret afterwards sometimes is next level.
Not trying to be a downer, but you did ask.
There's also the fun part of dialling in your medication to find the balance between being an overclocked sex machine and a walking wet noodle!
I’ve never heard a better explanation for this phenomena. Appreciate the insight.
Sensation seeking, emotional intensity, and a certain lack of inhibition.
The mania also helps. Bipolar isn’t just a happy-sad thing. The manic phase is categorized in the same group as schizoaffective disorders. Some of the most common symptoms of mania are hyper sexuality and feeling invincible. Imagine being absolutely insatiable even while doing it. So you keep going harder and harder, trying to find something to sate the urge. And the entire time, you’re delusional to the point of thinking nothing will hurt you. If you’re a manic girl who just brought home a random hookup, he’s about to get sex so hard his entire genetic line will be impressed.