this post was submitted on 30 Sep 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost
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I had a friend like you once, if he was into a woman there was guaranteed something dreadfully wrong with her. Like this was an actual conversation:
Friend (excited): I just started seeing her, she's amazing! The best thing that's ever happened to me!
Me: Dude, the last two girlfriends you said that about ended up in jail.
Friend: No it's different this time, she's cool! She's a gamer, we like the same music, she's super chill.
Me: Ok dude, I'm happy for you.
Two weeks later
Me: Dude, you ok? You look pretty down.
Friend: My girlfriend likes to get into throw down drunken brawls with strangers every weekend.
But this friend was also a weirdness magnet in general.
I don't think I've ever dated anyone violent, with myself or others, thank god. They usually just want me to piss inside them and stuff.
Just stay away from the nose and ears and you're golden.
That feel when no fight club gf
"If this is your first date, you have to fight."