this post was submitted on 07 Oct 2026
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I propose a 3 State solution to the Israel / Palestine conflict.

Rather than implementing a two state solution where Israel coexists with Palestine, which we have seen they are incapable of doing, we should involve a third state. Namely, Utah.

It's pretty simple, really and I don't understand why no one has thought of it before.

Just move Israel to Utah. That's it.

Why?

  1. The biggest issue here is that Israel would be homeless were it not for Palestinian land. This encroachment on Palestine is the reason for the bloodshed.
  2. It's silly to act like there isn't enough land for everyone when we're not really using Utah.
  3. It would give the Palestinians their land back and end the bloodshed, allowing them to rebuild even bigger than before. Then maybe they could actually profit off of things like resorts and TGI Fridays
  4. The USA is a huge supporter of Israel and has been looking for a 51st state for some time now. Also since they're cash rich from tarrifs and borrowing Venezuela, they could foot the bill and consider it an investment. The taxes would pay for itself in no time.
  5. Some believe Israel is a holy land promised to them by God. The same is true for Utah, and if you forget about the whole "who is the real Messiah" debate, they're both talking about the same God.
  6. Both are kind of just shitty deserts
  7. Make SLC the next Tel Aviv / Silicon Valley
  8. The Great Salt Lake is every bit as cool as the Mediterranean and has just as rich of a history, if not more. The Miditerranean doesn't even have Great in its name.
  9. Decrease terrorism in the Middle East while increasing tourism in the Southwest
  10. The Mormons are seriously so nice they would probably just give the Israelis their homes.
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[–] JPAKx4@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Additionally:

Utah is not significant to the religion, it was just far enough away from the established US government to stop being persecuted long enough for them to drop polygamy.

The actual holy land is Missouri, which is the location of the Garden of Eden.

[–] CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

What is it with “chosen people” religions literally choosing the shitiest places on earth to be their “new Eden”

It’s either, desert,desert, armpit of America, etc. like, has anyone looked at like Hawaii or Cabo and went, “damn this place is nice, this is almost like it could be the garden of Eden!” No they are like. “Look! Sand and bugs! Must be heaven!”

[–] LuannePlatter@infosec.pub 13 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It's because these aren't actually "holy" places, they're just places where they can hide their cults while avoiding law and taxes. Abusers have more power when they can isolate their victims.

[–] CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Sir, this is a shitpost community.

~though i agree with you 1000%~

[–] adarza@lemmy.ca 5 points 2 weeks ago

The actual holy land is Missouri

in fact, the merger of the two great religions has already happened there.. in springfield.

cabela's and bass pro shops.

[–] FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

It was until everyone else in Missouri got so sick of them trying to marry teenage girls they literally rallied the state militia to force the Mormons out.

Then, in a complete coincidence, god changed his mind to the spot where Brigham young got tired of a sore ass in a mule cart and said “this salty desert is better than another week to the ocean”