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this sounds doable. i do something similar with syncthing. it depends on the internet connection speeds. see how it goes with wireguard. between two home NAT networks you might find something lile tailscale easier to set up. wouldnt recommend doing this when youre not able to drive over there and fix things occasionally. ethernet preferable for reliable connection over wifi at the remote end. if you secure the pi well and update it it should be fine. note that you probably need to trust the remote household with your data.
Probably not actually. Borgbackup (and any sensible encrypted backup system really), does client side encryption. So the data should be encrypted before it's even sent down the wire. The remote household shouldn't be able to access the data without the encryption key/password.
I mean, they will have to trust the remote household not to destroy the data, but that's pretty much an unavoidable limitation.