Selfhosted
A place to share alternatives to popular online services that can be self-hosted without giving up privacy or locking you into a service you don't control.
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If you like SimpleX, you can host a server and configure your clients to use that. You don't use only your server though, so I don't know if this will satisfy your requirements.
Why not "only"?
Because at least when you use their private routing feature messages go: sender -> custom sender's server -> custom receiver's server -> receiver
So unless sender and receiver are configured to use servers under your control, there will be at least one foreign server involved.
To be fair I'm not sure how that works, when you don't use their private routing feature.
https://simplex.chat/blog/20240604-simplex-chat-v5.8-private-message-routing-chat-themes.html#private-message-routing
Oh yeah sorry I thought that both ends configured custom self hosted servers. But yeah in the "normal" case the self hosted server is "only" contributing to the network