this post was submitted on 03 Feb 2026
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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
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Even for a hedonist, that's a sad ass life.
He's not a hedonist, he's depressed. I know how good porn is, but it's not healthy to only have one activity and no people in your life.
I mean, his life revolves around wanking and sleeping... Two things can be true, TBF.
When I hear hedonist, the first thing I tend to think of is the actual philosophy by that name. I don't think Epicurus or Hobbes would have appreciated being lumped in with an ascetic devotee of Onan.
An ascetic devotee of Onan? 😅 You have a way with words, yakko.
Is it not written that Yakko yaks?
Or, perhaps, it's the most relieving kind of life?
He doesn't want for anything. Not a goddamn thing. As long as he has plumbing, electricity, and access to the internet (for porn mostly), he is content.
No envy, no expectation, just bliss that you get to exist, and Jack off to an infinite library of nudes.
Is he some sort of hobo philosopher a la Diogenes, sharing his insights? An ascetic monk, deep in meditation whenever he's not working and wanting for nothing? Idk, it didn't seem that way to me. I'll give you that he leads a very ecological life, but it seems to be more the result of poor financial choices. Maybe he's working this hard to give it all to charity every month, who knows? But I bet that's not what's happening (probably gambles or drinks or smokes his money away), and as such this is just a sad and aimless life.
How is that hedonistic?
Ok, maybe it fulfills your life to just jack off once a day, but how do you think this is hedonistic?