this post was submitted on 14 Feb 2026
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The way you worded it makes it sound like it's very easy to short a battery with your body, not that attempting to short a battery will cause "no issue" because it won't actually work.
I'm aware - I very intentionally spared everyone the lecture on the mechanics of how this works because it is, on the whole, very boring. However if we really wanted to get into the boring technical details nobody but us cares about then yes, you are indeed shorting the battery, it's just for a ludicrously small amount of current. Ohms law (I = V/R) gives us that.
Oooh, because we're too dumb to understand the finer details of electrical engineering, is that it? IS THAT IT?
Because yeah I am too dumb to understand even the coarser details of electrical engineering.
Yes exactly, I cannot stand the idea of you plebs learning things. How dare you even ask about this.
Jokes on you, we CAN'T learn. Ha.
Thing is, you also called it "shorting" the battery. Usually a short is an unintended, unsustainable low resistance path.
While your body may technically close the circuit, calling it a short makes it sound like an actual electricution risk. That combined with the unclear "no issue" usage made it pretty confusing, I thought you had no idea what you were talking about until I saw your reply.
It's just the common parlance. I wouldn't have done this were it a more technical setting, but this is a shitpost community - so I'll just have to beg forgiveness for my imprecision. Fortunately, should anyone go to test this by fondling their car's terminals, no harm will befall them due to my lack of strict accuracy in the description here (though they might get rebuffed by their car if it's not in the mood).