I take exception to this.
this post was submitted on 21 Nov 2025
375 points (98.2% liked)
Funny
13099 readers
1488 users here now
General rules:
- Be kind.
- All posts must make an attempt to be funny.
- Obey the general sh.itjust.works instance rules.
- No politics or political figures. There are plenty of other politics communities to choose from.
- Don't post anything grotesque or potentially illegal. Examples include pornography, gore, animal cruelty, inappropriate jokes involving kids, etc.
Exceptions may be made at the discretion of the mods.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
This would be funnier if you hadn't created the account just to post this.
Just wait for the repost!
I always play the long game.
I feel like Mother of Thousands is maybe not the best name for a baby.
Well I guess you don't expect your kids to be high achievers...
I think that's a title one earns, not one that should be given from birth.
So are dragonhunter and hellbender ... and screaming armadillo
How about the classic Wandering Jew?
I grow those! Now I have no idea what the PC name for them is. (Which is weird because the Wandering Jew is basically mythology, nothing against Jews.)
The name has, for good reasons, fallen out of fashion. "Inch plant" is what I've heard recently.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wandering_Jew
Various types of plants are called by the common name "wandering Jew", apparently because of these plants' ability to resist gardener's attempt to prevent them from "wandering over the earth until the second coming of Christ" (see Wandering Jew (disambiguation) § Plants). In 2016, to avoid anti-Semitism, the name "wandering dude" to describe Tradescantia has been proposed in an online plant community by Pedram Navid, instead of "Wandering Jew" and "silver inch plant".[83] [84][85][86]
Shub-Niggurath, The Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young, get my vote.
Yeah that's a title reserved for animal shelter's owner.
My baby will be called Compressed Flapworth and no woke liberal snowflake will stop me!
Do you want to bring them over to have a play date with my sweet virgins creeper?
Cheeseweed would probably be the coolest kid in school, ngl.
Don't know why they mock my little Cheeseweed Jr.
I was just thinking that it sounds like an insult.
"Of course it was loaded you cheeseweed!"
Sarcastic Fringehead and Pacific Spiny Lumpsucker, go clean your rooms! And stop teasing your little sister Common Cockchafer.
Capiche?
Good enough for a poke
Great, you've made my son cry. Now I'll have to make pancakes in the morning for Tufted Titmouse.
He just needs a hug from his mother, Great Tit.
There really is a screaming hairy armadillo (Chaetophractus vellerosus). The name comes from its squealing when you pick it up.
That name seems a little weirder in context.
It's like calling a species of wild pig the "Bleeding Black Hog" because of how it reacts to being shot.
There is that meme floating around about a salmon learning that named a color after them. I'm sure there are a ton of other examples.
Ima go with Cawwwwww
Cheeseweed Flapwort sounds like a hobbit name
Honestly, Hellbender is badass
Bender would be too
Or even Hell
Greatest: Boa, A Lizard Bird, Mealybug Destroyer, Raven.
Hawk, Badger
I'm sorry, but "Lavender" is not a good name.