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My boys are now in their 30s. They always helped with the big family dinners. Even made a couple of them on their own for the rest of us. I do not understand how anyone in my age group, Gen X, could not have raised their sons to be completely independent but somehow, I'm in a minority.
My best memories are of helping my mother and grandmother cook Thanksgiving and Christmas meals!
Those sound like lovely memories!
The most common cooking task is cutting stuff which makes me feel pretty manly
Your kids help?
My daughter has been a helper since she was 2. We encouraged it despite the very obvious frustration and now we have a somewhat competent helper years later.
For anyone unaware how frustrating it can be. Watch the Omelette episode of Bluey...
She was expected to do chores as soon as we believed her capable. That included bringing her dirty laundry to the laundry room. Putting dirty clothes away. Cleaning plates before putting in the dishwasher.
My brother is the best chef in the family. You will always miss out on good food if you don't screen all your kids for chef talent. Gender roles often lead to people not doing things they might be good at.
Society being agender-by-default, with gender being opt-in, would solve a lot of problems.
We have division of labor, particularly for big parties like Thanksgiving. I don't want help with cooking but don't want to have to clean up. That's our general division of labor because I legitimately enjoy cooking, and people legitimately love eating what I cook; and husband says he would much rather clean up. His dad is a better cook than his mom, I don't think it's a sexist thing. So sure I have to do more cooking (started yesterday) but he does more too. The kids just do overflow mostly and while all of them are competent in some way in a kitchen, the distribution of good cooks is not a gender split among them.
The technology split is more gendered, all of the boys (including the one who started out a girl) are gamers and can build a computer, 3/4 of the girls are gamers and technically competent but only one is willing to fuck around with the hardware. One, my oldest, is not at all comfortable with technology, does not want to know how anything works. But she worked construction/home renovation and is good with saw and drill.
My uncle usually cooks at our family thanksgiving, and it's always really goddamn good
Here is what I would like to say of my experience. Not to snap at this, or provoke a battle-of-the-genders. Just to say what I've experienced.
I'm a recovered germophobe but I still do the cleaning because it's not even work to me, it's just a casual part of my routine. I cook all from fresh and every meal, because I lost like 58kg after getting over my ED. My mother was insanely (abusively) strict when we were just small kids, so we were trained to clean the dishes, put things away, blah blah.
But anyways after sobering up and lots of therapy, the bad parts (the obsessive parts) of all that went away, but doing that stuff had just become an 'easy' part of my life.
But here's the little thing I don't even want to say. Women hate that shit lol. Isn't that awful to say? I'm always taken aback when I'm scolded for doing the things women say guys should do more of ahha
I think at my age it's a lot of the entrenched gender roles biting all sides. Yes, please open up the gates to the domains women historically have controlled. Guys need to shape up in a general sense in these areas, but let us in plz!
Who doesn't do that? What a weird assumption.
My dad never learned to cook, clean, or take care of his own hair/clothes. He had 7 sisters who were all taught that taking care of the boys and the house was their main duty in life. None of those sisters ever touched a hammer or a wrench.
His dad never learned to cook, clean, or take care of himself in any way. He had 4 sisters who were all taught that taking care of the boys and the house was their main duty in life. None of those sisters ever touched a hammer or a wrench.
I have two boys - they were taught to cook and clean and take care of themselves. And once they had that basic stuff down they were taught the hammer and wrench.
My grandpa and my father in law were never taught how to cook.
My grandpa could make porridge and sandwiches. My father in law can grill, but that’s it. My dad doesn’t even grill.
There are definitely households where cooking is seen as feminine and boys aren’t encouraged.
Thankfully my family is full of excellent cooks and all of my brothers and I love to cook. Some of my favourite memories of holidays were cooking with my mom before Christmas Eve so we didn’t have to cook until Boxing Day. I think the cooking part was better than the eating part, we had a full on hors d’oeuvre assembly line.
If you cook, you don't clean. If you clean, you don't cook. Tell them to take their pick.
Living alone, I find this to be a fast way to a messy sink.
Make your kids do all the work - more like enable them to help with all tasks. Getting to help can be fun. Gender barriers to tasks are stupid.
My mom made me do that 40 years ago already. That is a thing, no? Sure, it was Christmas dinner, as we didn't have thanksgiving, but it's the same nonetheless. You do it together as a family
They're survival skills that everyone should know.
The heck is a thanksgiving?
Ritualized Turkey Murder
Note: Turkey is optional. Mostly because nobody ever does it well. It is always dry and tasteless.
We're doing home made pizzas.
It is fun, and it requires little skill so everyone involved in the cooking process. Even the kids get involved to help.
Best part: Nobody spends all day slaving away in the kitchen not enjoying the holiday.