this post was submitted on 04 Sep 2025
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Programmer Humor

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[–] TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world 4 points 48 minutes ago

Did he type the furiously on to the keyboard? No? Then it's not hacking.

[–] rbn@sopuli.xyz 13 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

For those who want a more convincing but still low-effort variant of this, use... https://hackertyper.net/

Press F11 in your browser to run it in fullscreen.

[–] lemmyknow@lemmy.today 3 points 27 minutes ago

The Hollywood command is effortless and runs on terminal

[–] gigachad@piefed.social 59 points 3 hours ago (2 children)

I guess you could add some sleep(1) inbetween

[–] xav@programming.dev 29 points 2 hours ago (2 children)

This is Python. It's already show enough.

[–] ripcord@lemmy.world 5 points 2 hours ago (1 children)
[–] gigachad@piefed.social 19 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

It's valid Python code though, the semicolons will run but are unnecessary

[–] NeatNit@discuss.tchncs.de 11 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 20 minutes ago) (1 children)

demo of semicolons being allowed in Python

I am so perplexed and horrified. I'm going to need several weeks to get over this. What is this?!

[–] Mad_Punda@feddit.org 6 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

A way to have several statements on the same line?

[–] NeatNit@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 21 minutes ago

It seems I had semicolons confused with braces:

if picture is broken, it's this:

~ $ python -c "from __future__ import braces"
  File "<string>", line 1
SyntaxError: not a chance
[–] 9point6@lemmy.world 45 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Needs to be a sleep(3) and sleep(5) between the last ones just to add suspense

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 22 points 3 hours ago
sleep $(( 1 + $RANDOM % 5 ))
[–] sorter_plainview@lemmy.today 20 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

You know hackers in the movies are very polite and care for their user. When they are hacking or wiping the disk they show proper progress. That is much better user experience than many corporate products. Be like hackers in the movie.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 4 points 54 minutes ago

Ransomware has better tech support and customer service than your cell phone provider or ISP.

[–] Evilschnuff@feddit.org 6 points 2 hours ago

The hacking in Mr Robot looked more authentic, I really liked it. But they usually just executed some random scripts without printouts lol.

[–] j4k3@lemmy.world 7 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

what HP printers really do

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 1 points 48 minutes ago

In Soviet Russia, print() statement runs on printer.

[–] kambusha@sh.itjust.works 9 points 3 hours ago

I've been hacking the world this whole time!

[–] dumnezero@piefed.social 3 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago) (1 children)
[–] tfm@piefed.europe.pub 14 points 3 hours ago (3 children)
import sys
import time
from typing import Iterable, Callable, Any

class ProgressSimulator:
    """
    A class to simulate and display the progression of a hacking process,
    with unnecessary abstraction and complexity for dramatic effect.
    """

    def __init__(self, description: str = "FBI"):
        self.description = description
        self.progress_steps = [0, 20, 40, 60, 80, 100]
        self.messages = [
            f"Starting Hack...",
            *[f"Hacking {self.description} {step}%" for step in self.progress_steps],
            f"{self.description} Hacked Successfully"
        ]

    def generate_progress(self) -> Iterable[str]:
        """Generates the progress messages."""
        for message in self.messages:
            yield message

    def display_progress(self, delay: float = 0.5) -> None:
        """Displays the progress messages with a delay."""
        for message in self.generate_progress():
            print(message)
            time.sleep(delay)

    def execute_hack(self, callback: Callable[[str], Any] = print) -> None:
        """Executes the hacking process with a callback for each step."""
        for message in self.generate_progress():
            callback(message)

def create_hacking_sequence(description: str = "FBI") -> ProgressSimulator:
    """Factory function to create a hacking sequence."""
    return ProgressSimulator(description)

def main() -> None:
    """Main function to orchestrate the hacking simulation."""
    hacking_sequence = create_hacking_sequence()
    hacking_sequence.display_progress()

if __name__ == "__main__":
    main()
[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 0 points 44 minutes ago

I can do this in C in three lines.

[–] orhtej2@eviltoast.org 7 points 3 hours ago

Enterprise grade 👌