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I don't like to judge idiots too harshly, but if you bought a product marketed as an encrypted toilet camera you deserve whatever happens to you
this post was submitted on 04 Dec 2025
344 points (99.4% liked)
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Real gangsters use full fledged Dahua & go2rtc as their toilet camera
I will never be surprised by insecure IoT devices.
The S in IoT stands for security
Lol perfect, I like that.
The Dekoda costs $599 plus a mandatory subscription of at least $6.99 per month.
Imagine paying $600 plus $7 a month for Kohler to look at your shit.
Jokes on the intern?
Sometimes this timeline is too absurd not to love a little bit
I pray everyday that someone sneaks up behind me and hits my head with a large hammer
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Literally a shit post. Well done sir.
What the fuck are we doing as humanity
Storing petabytes of shit photos on coal burning servers cooled by drinking water.
Because a guy in a black turtleneck told us to.
Wait, it stores it?
I thought it forwards my shit pictures to my enemies.
Now there's a business plan
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Anyone who decided to buy a smart toilet with internet access deserves to not have an encrypted connection
Its even worse, its a smart attachment for any existing toilet
Only a matter of time before the Kohler Miracle occurs, a magnificent turd in the shape of the Virgin Mary.
Wait, this technology wasn’t an onion article or a fever dream? WTF Kohler, how much money did you waste on this tech and supporting infrastructure?!
No shit.
I love the phrase "data is encrypted at rest."
Having worked with a lot of medical data, the rules are simple:
- Encrypt at rest
- Rest is when the database is off
- Never turn off the database
They invented an internet poop camera and people actually buy it?!
The person who got this done is persuasive as fuck and should be in sales, not R&D.
Considering there has been a massive wave of smart cameras everywhere in and outside homes in the past and especially recently getting "hacked", it's not a stretch that randomly picking cameras to look through could yield a droopy balls and veiny cock jumpscare
To this very day, with only the slightest amount of technical knowledge, you can log onto people's existing devices, watch their video feeds, initiate print jobs, etc.
A 'haha im hax0r' amusement from 20+ years ago is still going strong.
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What a shitty design.
Camera toilet? For shitting with your boyfriend/girlfriend together.
If you wanna log your logs the old fashioned way with just a spreadsheet:
Date / time
- Small / medium / large
- Bristol Scale
- color
- could also add odor or discomfort if you're worried about that
On a second spreadsheet in that workbook, keep a food diary, because that's gonna provide a LOT of context (and you might discover some ways to be nicer to your tummy).
If there's someone out there that gets off on watching me poop let them. (I'm a 310 pounds 40 year old.)
end-to-end
From my end to another person's end connected by the plumbing system?
Seriously tho: I can understand why certain tech things might need a camera; if the toilet is able to accurately bidet the shit off my asshole with laser precision I can understand it might need to see all the dingleberries... But why the fuck does it have to send the camera data anywhere? Keep that shit local, confined to the device itself.
It analyses your shit and cross checks against the Bristol stool chart.
It then has either Metamucil or a block of cheese delivered to your house as needed.
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Literally using people's shit to train their shit AI.
c/StallmanWasRight
I'd just like to interject for a moment. What you're refering to as Shitcam, is in fact, GNU/Shitcam, or as I've recently taken to calling it, GNU plus Shitcam.
I guess they need to train the AI to better differentiate between gut issues and last night’s borscht.
Adding the vids of my toilet to the vids the roomla made. It all comes together.
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