this post was submitted on 10 Sep 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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[–] _stranger_@lemmy.world 13 points 3 hours ago

My agent accidentally misspelled my last name on paperwork at some point and when she realized the mistake it sent her into a blind panic We got it sorted but years later I still get junk mail with that name on it.

[–] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 14 points 4 hours ago

More like: Brad discovers the American equivalent of a Hanko, along with all the pain that creates.

[–] smh@slrpnk.net 2 points 2 hours ago

Mine is my first name in neat Gregg Shorthand, then squiggle squiggle.

[–] InvalidName2@lemmy.zip 53 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

For a solid few years, the signature on my driver's license did not match the signature that I use to sign things nor did it match my normal handwriting.

This is because the small town, fascist, dick cheese of a police officer who was handling my renewal decided he didn't like my signature. So, he told me I had to sign the thing with a legible (to him) signature. After redoing the signature multiple times and having him reject it each time, I finally signed it like I was trying out for the Olympic handwriting team. He accepted that one.

Like what even is the point of this exercise besides just being a giant festering asshole? Fortunately the signature mismatch was never an issue because it's such and unimportant and useless detail that almost nobody cares when they check your license.

[–] BanMe@lemmy.world 30 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Yeah that's insane, you are legally allowed to make any mark and it's a signature. But cops are above the law, so

[–] tiramichu@sh.itjust.works 8 points 3 hours ago

Plus, the whole point of a signature is that it's easily reproducible by you, but not by other people.

Fast and fluid in a way that feels good to your hand is therefore the best signature, whereas something written slowly and precisely is easier to copy.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 12 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

I have e-signed most of the paperwork I've signed in my life, but I did sign in ink for my first house. For that one, everyone encouraged me to be as casual as possible about my signature because they knew it would inevitably just get sloppier as we progressed through the paperwork.

[–] Katana314@lemmy.world 13 points 6 hours ago (3 children)

How do modern kids even develop a signature? They used to teach cursive and it’s based on that, but cursive isn’t used anymore

[–] rarsamx@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago)

Your signature is your mark. Uniquely identifying. It doesn't need to be your name.

I originally signed with name and last name plus a squiggle. I got tired of that and many years ago I changed it to my 4 letter first name barely legible. Way better more consistent than the variance writing my full name.

Butnintinknwe aware saying the same. Cursive is illegible, so. A bunch of squiggles is good enough. Some people call it cursive.

Note: other than nostalgia, I don't understand why cursive. Barely legible even by the original writer.

[–] cheloxin@lemmy.ml 22 points 5 hours ago (4 children)

Signatures aren't as important as people think they are. You can sign with literally anything and no one will care. The only time it may come up is if there's some kind of dispute and then someone asks you "is this your signature" and you say yes. Crisis over.

[–] Fuckfuckmyfuckingass@lemmy.world 1 points 53 minutes ago

They are if you vote by mail. All ballots have the signature matched to the one on your driver's license.

[–] lemmyknow@lemmy.today 12 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

there's some kind of dispute and then someone asks you "is this your signature" and you say yes. Crisis over.

"(…)by signing this document, you are also acknowledging that Apple may sew your mouth to the butthole of another iTunes user. Apple and its subsidiaries may also, if necessary, sew yet another person's mouth onto your butthole, making you a being that shares one gastral tract."

[–] cheloxin@lemmy.ml 2 points 3 hours ago

Luckily I refuse to use apple products so that's not an issue

[–] dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 4 points 4 hours ago (3 children)

I mean it just needs to be unique. Otherwise what's stopping someone else from pretending to be you (if they got control of some other credentials) or weaseling out of something you did in fact sign for.

To quote Mr burns "you can't all sign with an x".

[–] cheloxin@lemmy.ml 6 points 3 hours ago

Same thing that's stopping them now. Nothing. That isn't a very good deterrent for those things

[–] floquant@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 3 hours ago

Your signature will never be unique, each time you sign there will be small variations. It's really not that hard to produce a convincing signature if you have good penmanship, and even easier if it's a digital scan.

I've owned fountain pens since I was little, and I usually use some deep blue ink that fits the "only black or blue ink" criteria but is particular enough that I am able to tell with confidence if it is or not the ink I was using, and forensic analysis could verifiably tell. The one I've used the most oxides into copper colors, I love it so much.

For digital documents, I use PGP. I don't care if it's dorky, if I think I could have the need to demonstrate that I said or was told something at a specific date, I will generate and store a signed version, or attach it to an email as appropriate. I care more about the cryptographic guarantees of digital signatures than the legal guarantees of paper signatures anyway

[–] thermal_shock@lemmy.world 2 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

More like "is this your signature?"

"Uh, looks like the same ink pen I use, so ... Maybe?"

[–] ordnance_qf_17_pounder@reddthat.com 3 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Mine starts off cursive then devolves into a squiggly line by the end.

[–] howrar@lemmy.ca 5 points 4 hours ago

Write name, but sloppily. My brain will always be lazy in the same way, so the signature just ends up looking approximately the same every time. So basically, lots of squigglies too, but I'll get the ascenders and descenders.

[–] OmegaLemmy@discuss.online 26 points 8 hours ago (2 children)

I have this issue. They let 15 year olds sign their own name. My current signature does not match my old one, so I have to re-memorise my old one or change it to be new. Fuck me, why let 15 year olds do this shit?

[–] bier@feddit.nl 14 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

My 5 year old wrote a backwards F as his signature for his passport. I really hope they will let him pick whatever he wants when he gets a new one in 5 years

[–] ArmchairAce1944@discuss.online 2 points 6 hours ago

I also came up with my signature when I was a teenager. I didn't understand signatures back then... I recently changed it, but not on my official docs, such as my passport.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 54 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

“How do I type this alphanumerically?”

“Meow meow meow.”

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 12 points 4 hours ago

I used to do data integration work for Chipotle. One day, our Workday (HR system) integration broke out of the blue and we spent hours troubleshooting.

Eventually we discovered someone named Katherine applied for a position and signed her name with a 🐱 emoji, which broke EVERYTHING.

[–] howrar@lemmy.ca 5 points 4 hours ago

U+1F431 U+1F431 U+1F431

[–] Zier@fedia.io 131 points 15 hours ago (7 children)

Go and update your DL with your legal signature. Call the mortgage company and thank them for the free house that some joker signed with cat heads.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago

that's what the notary was for

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[–] ethaver@kbin.earth 99 points 15 hours ago (6 children)

Every millennial ever making their first email:

(mine is a fandom RP name from when I was 13)

[–] _stranger_@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago

max cringe incoming:

Mine was the name I gave to my favorite deck of Magic: The Gathering cards. Ironically, that deck would probably be worth more than my house if I still had it.

[–] prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works 3 points 5 hours ago

I still use mine. Nearly 30 years as prettybunnys

[–] DragonOracleIX@lemmy.ml 3 points 5 hours ago

Mine was a variation of my xbox gamertag.

[–] drasglaf@sh.itjust.works 3 points 7 hours ago

My first email was netwesker15

[–] Spezi@feddit.org 38 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

When my company is hiring, I usually have to check the CVs from the ones working in my field. I’m absolutely shocked about how many people are using email adresses like “cutebunny93@xyz.com”. The most shocking one was some racial slur where some letters where exchanged through numbers. Needless to say we didn’t go further with that candidate.

[–] Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz 19 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

CuteBunny93 has been using email for 20 years, isn't that a point in their favor?

[–] prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works 5 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

… what’s wrong with CuteBunny93

[–] smh@slrpnk.net 1 points 4 hours ago

It's the date in the username. So dorky.

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