You're assuming it will even start
this post was submitted on 04 Jan 2026
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You made a grown man cry.
Dumbest OS launch event music ever. That whole era was cringy as fuck even at the time.
Sweet cherry pie.
Why do prisons use Windows?
Because it always locks up.
But I'm telling you, I am the ADMIN!!
I heard a joke once: Man turns on computer. Goes to edit settings. Needs a patch to fix a system deficiency. Can't find any other solution. Windows says, "The fix is simple. Only a system administrator can make these changes. Go call one. That should take care of it." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But Windows... I am the system administrator." Good joke. Everybody laugh. Upgrade to enterprise for $199.99. Curtains.
It used to be in linux su would give some scary error message when you put in your password wrong that would say something like "this incident will be reported".
Reported to whom? I'm the only one using this computer and I'm the one that installed the OS....
It's actually sending mails internally to the root's mbox.
Good joke. Rimshot. Everybody laugh.
is how i first heard it. i love how these jokes have a million variants.
I'm amused that Watchmen is described as "original reference" here.
Back the blue screen.
Yeah, paint it blue!
with Self Driving by Copilot
Copilot in the dead seat ...
Why does a Microsoft owned security guard vehicle need a law enforcement push bar?
Because this is the police car they’ll send to your house when you say something to Copilot that they don’t like.
That's assuming Copilot could form a coherent report to send back to them.
Is that what this is? If so, why not just put “Microsoft Security” instead of advertising for various ms products lol.
Anyway if this is security, the serious answer is they can maybe help with disabled vehicles in the parking lot? In some weird emergency situation? Or they just want to look like tough guys.
It has an emergency vehicle light bar on top and those police-style hub caps so I'm safely assuming it is their security guards trying to pretend they're real cops.
Technically you could use that push bar to move a disabled vehicle... if you don't mind causing expensive damage to the bodywork of the other car. This kind of bar is for when you want to use your vehicle as a weapon to pit or ram other vehicles and keep your own vehicle in functioning order. As security guards they'll never do that.
You know looking at this made me realize it's not long until big cooperations start sponsoring our law enforcement and they will do their bidding to get better sponsorships. I mean even more now.
Sir, may I see your Office 365 license and Microsoft registration please
But I run linux...
"Code red, I need SWAT team backup, I've got a confirmed terrorist in sight!"
And when it does, the windscreen turns blue.
Heck yeah, it will crash! It has office 365! It probably can't drive straight in the freeway....
...ohhh, yes officer, my car can't drive in a perfectly vertical or horizontal orientation. Only slightly off horizontal or vertical. Yes we purchased several of these same cars and they only drive straight right out of the lot before the steering wheel is touched. They only turn in 1degree increments. Yes that's why I hit the other car! This car can only park in 1ft increments!
Used to be it might be a BSOD. Today it will still crash because it will distract you constantly by pestering you to try copilot. Or maybe you actually do try copilot and you say "My break time is almost over" and it disables your brakes.
"What operating system is it running?"
"Vista"
"We're going to die!"
BAAAAAA dumtss!
Is this Militech cruiser? Cyberpunk 2077 is getting more real by the day.
The fenders are not specifically called defenders for a reason.
The could be offenders.