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A collection of some classic Lemmy memes for your enjoyment
It's all fun and games until the day you have your first cup of that coffee made from single farm, small batch, hand washed, sun dried, meticulously roasted and ground, then brewed with the preciseness of a chemical engineering lab, that just hits for you. Suddenly you can never smell the burnt toxic shit Starbucks sells as "coffee" without gagging and you spend way to much time and money chasing that perfect brew.
Bean quality makes all the difference in the world. From there it’s mostly a matter of not fucking it up as far as I’m concerned
But yes, the first time I tasted what coffee is supposed to be, absolutely life changing.
My hometown used to have a roaster and fresh roast days the coffee was friggin amazing, place was my first coffee shop. Been chasing that dragon 20 years
What flavour notes did the coffee have?
Man I was like 17, I just remember having coffee that didn't taste like normal coffee, but almost sweet and nutty
burnt toxic shit Starbucks sells as “coffee”
Yeah they roast way too dark, probably to hide the cheap coffee they use and possibly because their extraction is shit.
I can't drink coffee anywhere else anymore, since I'm roasting myself, and perfected extraction with a Cafelat Robot (low pressure, which I think works better with lighter roasts).
Of course Starbucks roasts dark in part because they're cheap, but it's mostly to ensure the flavor is consistent across all their thousands of stores. Roast any bean to the level Starbucks roasts it, and it doesn't matter what the origin, fermentation method, species, or terroir was, they all come out tasting the same. Granted, most people aren't going to enjoy that taste by itself, but that's sort of beside the point. Starbucks coffee isn't really intended to be enjoyed straight, it's supposed to be made into milk drinks where the dairy, syrups, and toppings provide most of the flavor, and for that use case, it's adequate.
I can't drink coffee anywhere else anymore
That's an absolute shame, because there's tons and tons of cool coffee shops absolutely all over the place doing really cool, interesting, imaginative, and downright tasty things with coffee that you're missing out on.
This is why I have a hard time with hobbyist forums/communities. I get the idea of wanting to hone your end result or what have you, but it always seems to veer off into obsession while getting results which are debatably any better than keeping it simple.
I weigh my coffee/water to keep the brew ratio the same, and that is fine-tuned enough for me.
You will enjoy this 30s documentary.
I read that as (19)30s documentary at first and was slightly confused until I clicked it! 😁
Spot on though! Especially about the made up lingo and the rituals to maximize his "throat velocity!"
Again, I won't shame you if you do all that stuff and really enjoy it, but you should be self aware enough to know your level of fanaticism isn't the norm.
obsession while getting results which are debatably any better than keeping it simple
It's why I waited longer than I should've to shave with a safety razor. The wet shave or whatever communities had all these guidelines like you can't shave against the grain, or you need to moisten your skin in 42º C water for exactly 37.6 minutes, or you need a hogbrush to apply horse oil infused soap. Failure to follow any of the rules would mean your skin turns into Leatherface permanently.
Turns out you can use a safety razor exactly like one from Schaunlickette, with the bonus being you can buy blades for life for the cost of a single pack of 27-blade razor heads, or however many they're up to now
Got tired of paying high prices on razor blades, using disposables was wasteful, and the exponentially increasing number of blades wouldn't get under my nose.
Switched to an old school Gillette Tech safety. Switched to Barbasol instead of the thicker stuff. Shaves better, cheaper, just as fast. No stupid rituals required. No shaving soap, mug, bristle brush or horseshit required. (I do recommend starting with one of the combo packs of razors to find the one you like).
I even shave my balls with it.
My son has his own tech, and has never tried any of the goofy 'modern' crap.
This was a solved problem nearly 100 years ago. Funny how marketing works.
I weigh my coffee/water to keep the brew ratio the same
Yeah, I developed my current routine by weighing, but because I use literally the same containers every morning I can eyeball the amount of beans or water in those containers and know that I'm basically at the ratio I used to measure. Maybe tomorrow I'll eyeball it, and then measure, to confirm I'm still calibrated at the right level.
I don’t have a problem with people who are willing to do things in a complex way or experiment around. But hobbies are often an excuse for consumerism and elitism and that’s kind of gross.
Like coffee is a great example: someone will talk about a $20 pour over or French press with pre ground coffee from a local roaster, which is a setup that will give you vastly superior coffee to most people and chain options like starbucks or dunkin. They’ll get roasted (lol) because they’re not grinding at home (at minimum $1-200 for a decent grinder). And then when you dive into those people you’ll see they have some wild ass setup with like an $8000 espresso machine, $3000 grinder, the $200 coffee scale that coffee nerds have a boner for because a $10-30 scale with almost the same exact feature set is lame and coffee nerds are just audiophiles in a different hat. They have that same desperation in trying to justify their excessive consumerism that has led to their kitchen counter holding a handful of appliances dedicated to a single task that have cost them the value of a very solid used car.
But like the person that double blind tests various preparation methods? That experiments with data recording to better understand what happens during various brewing methods? That tries unconventional approaches to extraction? That person is cool
I feel like that type of place is really prone to worship a particular brand/substituting any knowledge or skill for consumerism.
Lol musician forum are always great for that. There ends up being a lot of work to convince people to just buy this one more new thing and you will have the sound you have always dreamed of. This either leads to people selling their last gear purchase to either buy the same thing in a new package or to rebuy what they sold off to buy their current gear, but now at an inflated vintage gear price. Or you get everyone buying the same thing and now you sound like every other tone chaser in your quest to find originality.
That's why I love cooking communities. A lot of things really do just boil down to technique, and a substantial amount of the equipment necessary is commodity grade where almost any brand performs the same.
Cold brew is easy. You just leave the thing to steep overnight.
Tastes really good even when you have bad/stale coffee. Much better than iced coffee.
Freshly roasted (7-30 days after roast) becomes alive when brewed hot. It's like tasting higher resolution coffee (when compared to cold brew)
I'mma just gonna sit over here with my cuppa tea and watch......
Damn right 🫖
Omg.
We just got one of those fancy espresso machines. It cost me an arm and a leg, and I’ve been fiddling with it for a while now. This morning my wife complained that it takes me forever to make a cup of coffee.
That said, when she finally tried it, she admitted it was quite good. So… yeah. I guess she’s right.
This is why I like taste tests.
They routinely prove that even experts can't distinguish between $20 wine and $200 wine.
The difference between cheap wine and expensive wine is that cheap wine is like a loot box, and expensive wine is like a higher tier loot box: you never know if either will be "good", but the expensive one should have slightly better odds( sometimes, depending on why it's expensive... ). But whether it's "good" really depends on your own personal preferences and also what you're eating with it too...
Yes, the best coffee is Caffeine free via supercritical CO2 extraction, then espresso at exactly 92℃, 900KPa into 66℃ heated, but flat milk.
(I mostly drink Nescafe with UHT milk and unfiltered tap water from the work urn)
Mere childs play. The best coffee is a 2L bottle of pepsi evaporated under a rotary boiler that is then super cooled to concentrate to extract the caramel out of the caffeine, filtered through sheeps wool into a cup. Then add goats milk.
I miss when Animal Crossing Pocket Camp was free
Cold brew is good for people who need lower acidity.
It also takes on the least flavour from the beans, so you can use cheap beans or if your beans go stale and it tastes just as good.
because any methods that are harder and which DON'T have a superior result would not become culturally known
Cold brew espresso might just give you the powers of The Flash.
I can smell my neighbours coffee through the walls in the morning and I hate it. It smells like someone is smoking cigarette.
Sounds like they’re using those dark, oily, over roasted Starbucks beans…
"through the walls" is insane. Are you sure it is that and not through ventilation or windows?