"I regret to inform you that your child was born with only half an ass."
this post was submitted on 29 Jan 2026
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It's the Antichrist, since it can't turn the other cheek
Was it the Caesarean?
When he farts it sounds like kshhhhh
Okay, but the real question is: Did she give birth to a whole-ass baby or a whole ass-baby?
Getting chastised for language by your mom like this and having 113 unread texts is so on point.
People putting zero thought into their vocabulary and just parroting popular phrases is also my pet peeve
My kid is pretty half ass
I feel like maybe somebody needs to say it - guys, that's not how babies are made.
Ain't gonna stop me from tryin
Wym, I have whole ass-babies every day.
Just tell them 'No, your sister is having a half assed baby just like you would. '
One of my kids was born with a crooked ass, but it straightened out after she started walking. She still has different size feet though.
This gal is all kinds of fucked up... charge your fuckin phone! Clear your fuckin unread messages! How do people live like that?
It’s done on purpose and is colloquially referred to as ‘rage bating’
Once I started receiving like 300 emails a day like 15 years ago, I stopped caring about marking emails as read. Texts though...
And wash your dang hands
Too busy thinking about ass to care
i think you need to chill man, some people just take it to the limit, some people say Fhqwhgads
everybody to the limit
I opened this post to mention the charginglevel. Good that I'm not the only one.
My existence proves you can give birth to a half-assed baby.
I was gonna say, I resemble that remark!
Were you born with half an ass or did you have half removed?
Damn, you okay?
As long as it doesn’t require much effort.
Just a lil crooked when he sits
I think I have to side with mom on this one
Momma's got a whole ass of attitude.
A no shit whole ass attitude.
Every child knows they done right when they finally have a parent lose it over their lame slang. I know I was proud of myself when my mom did the same.
The twist though is she picked it up, thinking it was cool, and now still uses it decades later. So, she won there in the long run.
It's like what happened to Facebook, now it's boomers everywhere.
Full beans. Whole ass. Maximum effort.
Yes. Half-assed baby.