this post was submitted on 30 Jan 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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all 44 comments
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[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 82 points 3 months ago (5 children)

I’ve never been ashamed of or regretted licking ass.

[–] WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com 51 points 3 months ago

Found the dog. /s

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 38 points 3 months ago

So uh, you busy later?

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 3 points 3 months ago

I too have never been asshamed for licking ass

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

you've never drunk 14 beers at chilis, huh

[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 37 points 3 months ago (2 children)

The cells that licked your butthole, the parts of me that once placed tongue to ass, will be purged from my body and perish forever within seven years.

[–] okwhateverdude@lemmy.world 17 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Pretty sure tongue cells regen pretty quickly, it might be shorter?

[–] LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.world 20 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Burn your tongue on a pizza roll, they'll be gone quick

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

what about capsaican? can i sweat everything out with a billion capsaicans?

[–] LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

This made me picture someone panting so hard their tongue was flopping like a dogs tongue out the car window wearing off skin cells

[–] udon@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (3 children)

The cell next to the cell that touched ass touches the cell that touched ass. So indirectly it also touched ass. Once the cell that touched ass gets regenerated, it touches the cell that touched the cell that touched ass.

There is no escape.

[–] syaochan@feddit.it 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] udon@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

It's a classic

[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

If I fuck your twin, did you lose your virginity?

[–] udon@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Am I the twin of myself 7 years ago?

[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

I apologize for the crudeness, what I mean to say is just because a part of you touches something that touched something else doesn't mean that the second thing touches the same thing as the first thing.

I guess a less rude analogy would have been, "If you put a ladle into hot soup, did you burn your finger?"

[–] udon@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

We're just having a totally sincere intellectual deliberation here about the Tongue of Theseus conundrum

[–] Ashelyn@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 3 months ago

By that logic every cell in your body has touched a cell (that has touched a cell)^n that has touched ass

[–] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

I really shouldn’t have let go of the girl that was into doing that to me

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 14 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Well now I want MC Hammer to record a song about how you can't take back all times you licked his butthole.

Maybe it's a colab with Sir Mix-a-Lot.

[–] GreenDust@lemmings.world 26 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I LIKE
LICKED
BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 21 points 3 months ago (1 children)

When a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist and a round thing in your face, it gets TONGUE

[–] TachyonTele@piefed.social 6 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

I want 'em real thick and juicy, so find that juicy double. Mix-a-Lot's in trouble! Beggin' for a piece of that bubble

[–] Skanky@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

Ooooh baybee, I wanna get with ya, And lick your sphincta

[–] Triton420@mander.xyz 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] ThePantser@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)
[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

are we gonna have to make hammer an abe vigoda website

[–] moistclump@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

Sir Lix-a-Lot

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 1 points 3 months ago

Finally, a use for AI.

[–] felixwhynot@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago

A vintage meme! Nice

[–] thatradomguy@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 6 points 3 months ago

You've rimmed this.

my My MY

My bunghole felt so good

You made me say "oh my lawd"

Thank you for blessing me

With unexpected taint cleanin'

STOP

Felchin' time

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

Yeah but you'll never have that pleasure again

[–] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] potoo22@programming.dev 5 points 3 months ago

Mongo is appalled

[–] ChristchurchAsshole@lemmy.ml -1 points 3 months ago (3 children)

This is just fucked up and it shows that people these days don't have a functioning disgust reflex.

[–] nibbler@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 3 months ago

Being horny hampers the disgust reflex

[–] PhoenixDog@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago

If you've never eaten or had your ass eaten, you're missing out.

[–] yum@lemmy.eco.br 6 points 3 months ago

You can wash your ass, you know

[–] peopleproblems@lemmy.world -2 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

And this is why I don't eat ass.

Well that and it's ass.

Correction: There is a scenario where Id eat ass. I'm not going to give it up, because if it happens it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't. And nobody cares either way.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

one lick and you'll be saying, "this tastes like shit!"