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I remember the BeOS guys doing a demo at my LUG before they release the BeBox (or whatever their computer was called). That OS was so ahead of it's time. There were about 200 of us just gasping at how good it was and what it could do. Actually using BeOS on a PowerPC ended up being an on ramp for me to Linux. By the time Haiku came out, life was too busy and I was too entrenched in Linux. Maybe now that I'm retired I'll take a look at it.
My college roommate got an install CD of the first version that ran on x86, maybe 3.0? I tried it on my computer and became an instant convert. It was so astoundingly much faster and stable than Windows was on the same hardware, had a decent free IDE, and could play MP3s without skipping while compiling, browsing the internet, and spinning a GL Teapot all at once on a Pentium 75 with 16MB of RAM. Nothing else even came close for a desktop experience. I bought a copy for myself and every version that came out.
Iβve been daily driving Linux for a long time now, but I still look back and wonder what could have been. There are still things to this day that BeOS did better and faster in the β90s on single core sub GHz machines with spinning rust than Linux, MacOS or Windows can on top end modern hardware.
It can even run some modern software! Nobody cares! Perfect for a hipster.
I'm thinking Slackware or maybe make a tails like OS that gives you access to the Usenet instead of the internet?
There's always LFS.
But if you really wanna bail on tux, Haiku, Plan 9, or ReactOs
RedoxOS
Die coolen Kids benutzen MS-DOS 1.0.
Go with Plan9, obviously
Run exclusively self made programs
Need a calculator? Program one and compile it
Well, within reason
Redox exists.
go to windows this community will vouch for me
LFS only.
ReactOS
When normal BSD becomes too mainstream, you can also run Darwin. Run KDE Plasma and a custom theme to make it look like Windows.
Now you have to move on to obscure open source hardware. Linux phone and/or a RISC-V computer
Everyone saying nixos the next arch but we are all traumatized so we dont even recommend it /hj. But actually dont use it, youre gonna give up or spend hundreds of hours crafting the perfect deployable system which youre never gonna deploy on anything other than your single laptop that has nixos.
The first person in real life that I met who used nixos was so proud to show off his configs. I let him, and was suitably impressed. I then returned home and decided to play dark souls 2 on my lovely little manjaro.
GNU Hurd?
https://www.phoronix.com/news/GNU-Hurd-In-2026
GNU Hurd Is "Almost There" With x86_64, SMP & ~75% Of Debian Packages Building
Written by Michael Larabel in GNU on 1 February 2026
Obviously, you need to get BSD on a computer without any proprietary firmware.
The only place left for you is freeBSD and writing your own tiling window manager
There is another... 
(There are dozens of us, I swear)